Friday, November 13, 2009

Just A Bad Idea

First off, thanks to everyone who suggested ways of fixing my computer after it went kablooie. I actually used a boot CD to roll back my registry and problem solved.

My carefully organized and indexed collection of porn has survived. Huzzah!

I actually had an awesome boot CD, the Ultimate Boot CD for Windows, that had everything I needed. That thing has gotten me out of more than one jam and luckily, it came through again.

My baby is humming again.

Now, on to business...

You may or may not have heard that there was a new game released this week called Call of Duty 6: Modern Warfare 2.

Honestly, I don't think it got very much media attention.

This game has me worried.

Don't get me wrong here. I love me some FPS action now and again, and Call of Duty knows how to deliver.

Though haven't we pretty much got this all covered?

While we're at it, why don't we go back and make another Star Wars game that involves the battle on Hoth? You don't see enough of that.

But that's not my reason for concern for this game.

No, my reason for concern is the limited edition, collector's Prestige Edition of the game. This magnificent set comes with:

a) a copy of the game (duh)
b) a beautiful artbook
c) a download coupon for the original Call of Duty
d) night vision goggles

Wait... What was 'd' again?

Oh yeah. NIGHT VISION GOGGLES!

This is a bad idea.

Actually, that is an understatement. This is a universally, majestically, stellar clusterf&%@ of an idea.

They are selling a violent shooting game with night vision goggles.

FUNCTIONING night vision goggles.

Sure, these aren't exactly military grade, but they still pose a significant threat.

There is no logical reason why your average gamer would need a pair of night vision goggles. Yeah, you can make up a bunch of barely sensible uses, but on a basic level, we all know these things are complete useless.

Unless you're insane.

If you just happen to be insane, the makers of Call of Duty have been nice enough to provide you with proper murdering/stalking equipment.

Have we not seen enough poor decisions that we are now actively equipping people with tools to seriously injure other human beings?

If there is any one thing that humans excel at, it is taking what seems like a perfectly good idea and turning into a country-wide killing spree.

I suppose the Ultimate Prestige Edition comes with night vision goggles, a loaded handgun, and directions to your ex-girlfriend's house.

Two weeks. I give it two weeks before some moron ends up using these goggles to commit a crime and then we've got months and months of listening to other morons tell us how video games are creating killers.

Really, it's not the video game's fault.

It's the video game COMPANY'S fault.

THEY GAVE THEM FREAKING NIGHT VISION GOGGLES! WHAT GOOD COULD POSSIBLY COME FROM THIS?!

Oh... You can pee at three AM without turning on the light.

That's pretty damned convenient.

16 Comments:

At 10:16 PM, Blogger phillip said...

Dave you seem to forget. Without people doing stupid stuff, like giving out night vision goggles to people with no need for them, then I would have no funny murders to read about when am bored. Think about that.

 
At 5:54 AM, Blogger tyranastrasz said...

Heh. Reminds me of the time Gamepolitics' (then-)editor received a box full of promotional items for Godfather II (which EA randomly sent to various reviewers and news site owners, aparently), that contained brass knuckles.

Said editor lives in Pennsylvania. Brass knuckles are illegal to own in Pennsylvania.

 
At 8:33 AM, Blogger Kahsha said...

Half of the PE copies I sold were to underage boys that dragged their mom, dad or grandparent to the midnight opening.

Idiocy starts at a young age.

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger JayMac77 said...

Don't know how good these goggles are since I used them while in the Army, but, they COULD make for some sweet star gazing. ; )

 
At 9:38 AM, Blogger JayMac77 said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 12:01 PM, Blogger Keroloth said...

Well... the truth is that non-military grade equipment is widely available through the auction sites like ebay or amazon... AND there are cheaper night-viion goggles than the prestige edition of MW2. (Not that I'm saying it's ok to attach that shit to a game... that's just fucked up.)

 
At 3:01 PM, Blogger Katherine said...

My cousin and all her Army buddies bought this edition at the midnight sale pre order party whatever it was. She says they're "Ok, not great" then she said "I miss my M-4" and I got scared!

 
At 3:10 PM, Blogger Michael said...

I've heard the night vision goggles that come with it aren't very good because you have no depth perception with them on.

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 3:21 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

FLIR night vision equipment can see right through curtains because they are usually transparent to infra red.

Just FYI.

 
At 3:28 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

Michael: No the reason they suck is because they're just a low res CCD camera with an IR lamp on them. They are not true passive FLIR equipment.

Real night vision gear works by passive IR (heat) and/or ambient light amplification.

These crappy things just have a flashlight that emits light invisible to the human eye, but visible to a CCD camera.

 
At 7:41 PM, Blogger Jormy said...

Dearest [GM]Dave,
I regret to inform you that I will not be at work this upcoming week, because COD6 came out last week.

Thanks for understanding,
Jormy

 
At 8:25 PM, Blogger mercygroundabyss said...

I was pondering the irony of your machine dying and susan laughing at you... Because friday the 13th... my psu took a dive and gave my machine spontianious reboots. This as anyone in IT knows is a pain in the ass to diagnose.

TLDR? 2.8v on a 3.3v rail makes CPU a sad panda.

I feel for you Dave. /me goes back to kicking his "other gf" (Yes the computer. My lass would plant me one into next week if i kicked her)

 
At 8:27 PM, Blogger mercygroundabyss said...

Dammit. I forgot to comment about the "night vision".

LED bike torch. Right as the little perverts are staring in your window.

(Yes i nearly blinded myself when my mum said her LED bike torch was bright. LED's? HA said I. Cue 10mins of blindness and spots...)

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Leut said...

Somehow I got the image of a pervy old man in a retirement home getting his hands on some of these.

Now I must drink myself into a near coma to forget that image. Eww. Just. Ewww.

 
At 11:26 PM, Blogger Brian said...

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 comes with a fully equipped and working M1A Abrams Tank...

 

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