Thursday, October 08, 2009

What The Hell Is Wrong With People?

I live my life by a few very simple principles.

1) Everything is better with bacon

2) Every other car on the road is out to kill you

3) Never comment on a woman's weight/hair/clothing for any reason EVER

4) Seriously. Not EVER.

5) Don't complain about free stuff.

It's the last one that really gets me. I just don't understand how people can make such a big deal out of free stuff.

People bitched about how hard it was to get good weapons in FFXI. Oh, you've got to do a quest. Oh, you've got to find this ultra rare drop. Oh, you've got to kill an impossible NM.

I mean, all that only made sense considering these were some kick ass weapons. We can't exactly hand you a relic weapon when you log in.

NPC>> Hail, new adventurer. Welcome to Vana'diel.
NPC>> Here's your God weapon.

Still, players bitched about how hard it was to get these weapons.

Of course, they ignored my plan.

System Message: Go F&%@ Yourselves.

No, someone was kind enough to listen to these concerns and open up new ways to get great weapons.

Not me. Oh hell no. I would have told them to go F&%@ themselves.

That's how I solve most problems.

Or start most problems.

Whatever. It's problem-adjacent.

So, the kindly devs, ever thoughtful of the players' feelings, made new high level weapons that were easier to obtain. They even made several of them craftable so no real questing was required.


Then people started to complain about how expensive a lot of crafted weapons are. Materials were going up in price and the market was rising across the board.

Oh... Kay...

The devs, still mindful of players' feelings, created new quests and event that dropped new weapons into your lap. Hell, you even got to unlock new weaponskills.


Then people started to complain that the quest and events were too hard.

Wait... I think I did this part already.

Oh, my mistake. People were just bitching about the same problem we'd already solved.

Silly me.

Now, there were entire categories of epic, high-level weaponry and armor readily available for anyone willing to either:

a) kill an NM
b) do a quest
c) do an event
d) get it crafted

And people still weren't happy.

What the sweet bacon Jesus?

Yet, the devs did not give up. The devs in their mysterious ways decided to make the process of obtaining near-Godlike impliments of destruction practically idiot-proof.

You get a cheap weapon.

I mean dirt cheap.

Actually, cheaper than dirt.

If you want to purchase a small amount of dirt, you would have to trade several of these weapons.

Then, you run anyone of several small events and a Fairy (I'm not making this up) will augment your weapon to make it even more awesome.

For free.

And if you don't like the augmentation, you can say no and retry up to five more times to get a better augmentation.

That's not all. After you accept an augmentation, you can go buy another cheapass weapon and redo the whole process to get an even better augmentation.

Seriously, this is some epic shit right here. The devs actually created a system where anyone that is even functionally retarded can still obtain one of the best weapons in the game.

And what did the players do?

You guessed it.

They complained.

Now, it was too easy to obtain great weapons and the other weapons that are still just as pointy as they were yesterday, just weren't as awesome anymore.

Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I died and this is what hell is like for GMs.

My opinion is that we should put a new complaints button in the menu. You click it and then you watch your character get eaten by Jormy and then permabanned.

It would save me SO much time.


At 9:29 PM, Blogger iLG said...

The sheer mind-numbing lack of decency in Stupid People(tm) never ceases to amaze (and annoy) me.

If I got something for free I sure as hell wouldn't complain about it, so why they think they have any right to is beyond any excuse I can conjure up within this demented intellect of mine.

At 9:42 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

People love to complain. Its as simple as that.

At 9:46 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...


sweet bacon jesus!!!!

At 10:33 PM, Blogger Azophael said...

Putting a button in to make people get eaten by jormy and permabanned? Now where's the fun for you in that, Dave? Would this automation still be satisfactory to you? You couldn't do witty remarks or watch them beg for mercy, is that what you want?'re getting old

At 12:29 AM, Blogger Beltayn said...

Wait a second... we're talking about Final Fantasy Online right? The game from Square Enix here? The one without night elves and orcs?

Cause.. you know for a moment there it felt like you were describing World of Warcraft..

Players: The game is too hard and you have to like push buttons and stuff ot kill bosses and then.. then.. *uncontrollable sobbing* then sometimes they don't even drop a weapon you can use.. *trembling lip*

Devs: Never mind guys, we'll just make the bosses easier for you. In fact, we'll make everything so you can roll your face across the keyboard and kill any monster.

(I kid you not, I met a hunter the other day that is almost at max level who seriously believes that the only skill he needs to use is volley. He uses it on everything... single monsters, groups.. critters.. other players.. and the guy is almost at max level...)

Anyway, so then the players complain even more!

"But..but.. devs.. I don't have TIME to go and kill these ridiculously easy bosses anymore.. and they're still too hard.. you mean I seriously have to push more than one button and I can't just stand AFK and wait for the monster to die? Also... it's hard getting along with other players, who are mean to me sometimes, and I can't kill the big monsters on my own." *trembling lip*

Devs: "Ok, look, this is what we'll do, we're going to put a few quests into the game that you can do every day. If you don't have time to do them it's ok, because we especially tailored them so that you can complete them by putting your pet budgie or hamster on the keyboard while you do something else.

These quests will give you badges that you can trade in for the same weapons that came from the ridiculously easy monsters we put in for you... and don't worry guys, if that's too hard Ghost Crawler will come to your house, make you a nice cup of coco and give you a pony."

Friggin tards...

At 12:35 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

I'd make a few alts so I could hit that button and watch them get eaten. It would be the closest I could come to hanging out with Dave here, since he'd probably never hang out with my noob ass.

...wait, this button wouldn't ban all your characters, would it?

At 3:02 AM, Blogger Music-chan said...

Man, that's a lot of WoW hate up there.

Okay, honestly, every MMO has it's share of idiots. And no matter how easy or fun the Devs of ANY GAME will make things, people will STILL COMPLAIN.

All games do this!

To be serious for a moment, in the video game industry, you don't get customers unless you make a game they want to play. It's disturbing how easy people want everything though. Man, have you ever played the original Zelda? That shit is hard! You get hit three times, you DIE. Damn. But seems like nowdays people are only having fun if everything is handed to them. At least, the majority of the people are.

Ah well, let's all pretend I said something witty instead of going off about how people are stupid. Then we can all be happy.

At 3:52 AM, Blogger LoSTBoY said...

Think this can be best summed up from a nice little quote I read:

Nerf Sissors, Rock working as intended.
- Paper

At 6:51 AM, Blogger Sparf said...

It's like...the Doom that Came to Sarnath....

except substitute idiots for monsters.

At 11:36 AM, Blogger Jon said...

I take extreme issue with your 'everything is better with bacon' comment. I recently ate at a chinese restaurant and I decided to get one of their specialty dishes. I think it was called 7 stars under the moon or some such bullshit. The dish arrived and not even counting the stuff that should already be there (broccoli, pea pods, onion, carrot, etc), there was 1) chicken, 2) sweet and sour chicken, 3) lobster, 4) pork, 5) scallops and 6) butterfly'd shrimp that was fried with a strip of bacon laid over it, but underneath all of the fried'ness. I about shat myself. I was actually disgusted by the entire dish but mostly the fried bacon-shrimp.

At 1:45 PM, Blogger Blueyez said...

Hmm, and here I was thinking "Damn! I just got a Gaxe that's as good as that Perdu Voulge I've been drooling over, and it only cost me 50k?!?! AND I got it on my first try?!?!?!? I must be the luckiest bitch in Vana'diel!! Yay me!" I mean, any easier and it would have dropped off a bunny in Valkurm. Complaining though? Not on your life! I'm shining that thing daily! It may be a slightly unhealthy love I have for my Gaxe but hey, BFGaxes are a girls best friend!

At 2:48 PM, Blogger Sword said...

In all honesty, those who bitch and complain about everything are not really players. Most complainers, are people who have alienated themselves from the gaming community and being FFXI is such a community heavy game, they cannot achieve hardly anything on their own.

A general majority who are are satisfied with the current game usually dont complain. Sure they want more content, and I can understand wanting to make some things easier for the more casual gamer I'll give them that. But in the end most are happy with what they get.

At 3:45 PM, Blogger Leut said...

An automatic Jormy feeding/permabanning button. Dave...I'm afraid I'm going to have to ban you for botting.

At 5:51 PM, Blogger Jeffrey Mathis said...

That is one reason I left WoW.

The other reasons? Paid faction change, soon-to-come paid race change (because the players want it). I pay each month so I do not have crap like the free web based pay-to-get-more crap games.

I bet soon there will be paid class changes.


Shame to see FF going that way.

At 4:11 AM, Blogger i love me :D said...

Geez, if you don't like new changes just complain harder to get it changed back. Some people obviously haven't learnt the art of getting what you want.

At 12:24 PM, Blogger Gimpy said...

The issue is not necessarily the work. The issue is that many of the so-called "godly weapons" are crap. You have to put in a large amount of time and work for a weapon that's usually weaker than another option.

And I can understand SE wanting to keep some stuff rare... but there's a point at which you cross, when you go from rare to friggin' retarded.

Relic Weapons - SE couldn't have tried harder to drive the playerbase to Gil Buying if they tried. You can try to blame the players, but putting in such a obscenely expensive weapon in, leaves 90% of the playerbase realizing that if they don't buy gil, they'll never see some of the content that they already paid money for.

Then we get Mythic Weapons - A step in the right direction, to be sure. Requires a lot of personal work, which most people would be fine with... except the stupid requirement of 30k alexandrites. Have you done salvage? Do you know how many can drop in a run? 1-50. Even at 50 a run, and doing salvage 7 times a week, it'll be 2 years before you finish. If you buy alexandrites? Goes for 3-4k on most servers. 90mil to 120mil in gil, and so we're back at gilbuying. Also, most of the mythics are WEAKER than other options. You're a melee person; compare Destroyers with Glanzefaust. There's no contest. So someone who upgrades the mnk mythic is a retard. It's a pointless item (as are most of the mythics).

Fey weapons - SE is learning. They are cheap and can churn out some decently good weapons, the trade-off being the randomness.

At each step, SE appears to learn more and more, but they need to go back and fix the systems for the other weapons. Remove or lower the damn alex requirement(or obscenely up the drop rate); there is no harm in allowing people to spend 8-9 months working for a good weapon. It's not going to unbalance the game.

Relic weapons - Give everyone that comes out of Dynamis a set amount of currency, in addition to the drops. Unions need to drop 100s more than .05% of the time. Make other ways to get currency.

There is a middle ground between handing a god weapon upon logging in, and requiring obscene amounts of gil over the course of 2 years. I hate damn false dichotomies.

SE could kill most of the annoying RMT overnight, if they removed the damn gil requirement from relics and mythics. Do you secretly like RMT tells?

Claustrum - seriously?

At 2:35 PM, Blogger Sword said...

It would be sort of counter productive if they lowered the requirements on relics/mythics. Lower the requirements and chances are more people would buy gil to obtain the relics for cheaper. Don't forget people are lazy and will take the easiest route even if it costs them a little dough.

Now the campaign rewards that drop relic currency was a good measure. It give's players an alternate way of obtaining dynamis currency without being a sponser with high demand and often competitive shells. Though in all honesty it will take a player about as long or longer to obtain the necessary currency to buy a relic campaigning all the time. If they on the other hand upped the drop rates where the market would get flooded, prices might drop and the number of relic users would increase.

At 2:05 PM, Blogger Gimpy said...

I'm not sure you understand Mythics. If they removed alex requirement, there's nothing else to spend gil on. Just work:

3 beastman king titles
150k nyzul tokens
100k einherjar ichor
redo all 50 assaults
3 ZNM trophies

That's plenty of work. Someone starting from scratch and being most efficient, it would still take 7-8 months to complete. That's plenty of good work to earn a weapon. The alex requirement makes it plain stupid; it's not needed at all. Especially since the vast majority of mythic weapons are just a very minor upgrade at best, over what you can get.

I can understand Relics maybe being a bit rarer, but most people should be able to work toward a mythic. It won't break the game.


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