Vana'diel Career DayI was sitting down today, thinking one of my deep thoughts.
What? I do enjoy philosophy, you know. I'm not all about the video games.
And you think you know me.
So, I was thinking about FFXI and about how everyone ends up an adventurer. Every single person who logs in ends up as a hero bringing justice and peace to Vana'diel.
I don't want to question the realism of the game, but what the hell? Are you really telling me that EVERYONE gets to be an adventurer?
You'd think someone would have to log in and end up as a janitor.
Or a bus driver.
I mean, I'm all for people having a good time, but somebody's got to pick up the trash.
Can you imagine the amount of garbage left around Vana'diel? Monster corpses and noob corpses, broken synths and dropped items.
Geez, the Sushi wrappers alone would flood the streets.
Shouldn't some people get to log in and roll up a nice janitor character?
Maybe there are players with REALLY low standards. Maybe all of that running around and adventuring looks like too much work.
Even if they don't want to, shouldn't we MAKE some of them?
I'm just saying that not everyone gets to be a special, unique snowflake.
Not everyone gets to be a doctor or a lawyer or a quarterback. Somebody has to get stuck with the really shitty jobs in life.
Why should an MMORPG be any different?
You log in and get your retarded ass a broom.
And what about the NPCs? What does it tell the children of Vana'diel that everybody gets to grow up to be a famous adventurer?
Kind of setting them up for disappointment, isn't it?
See, the thing is everybody gets to grow up and be a famous adventurer EXCEPT THEM.
Somebody has to mind the Chocobo stables or those fruit stands in every city.
What the hell was wrong with those people that they didn't get to be adventurers? We have functionally retarded players everywhere that get to go out and kick monster ass. What f&%@ing remedial class were these people in?
Oh, Billy, you colored outside the lines. Hope you like shoveling chocobo shit for the rest of your life.
Speaking of kids, why don't we see more kids around Vana'diel?
Yeah, yeah. We got the retarded kids who run up and down the same street day after day. We all know about those guys.
But where are the regular kids?
This is a world full of weapons and magic. You can literally make fire appear out of nothing and use it to light small woodland creatures ablaze.
If this game was realistic, West Ronfaure would be filled with children lighting bunnies on fire.
You'd assume they'd have some pent up rage to get out what with finding out they were destined to be selling distilled water for the next fifty or sixty years, while players who can barely string a sentence together get to save the world from unstoppable evil.
Tell me you wouldn't light a goddamned bunny on fire.
Honestly, I don't now what's worse: the fact that an entire world's native people are stuck acting as or menial servants while we run roughshod over their land...
Or the fact that I spent more than an hour thinking about that today.
And where I could find a bunny and some lighter fluid.
... Don't judge me.