Monday, September 14, 2009

Seriously, Nintendo?

I'm actually starting to wonder what the hell is up with Nintendo.

After the whole Mario e-mail incident, I thought Nintendo was done surprising me.

I've been giving them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe, just maybe, they knew something we all didn't.

Given the fact that they are rich as F&%@ right now, this could be a possibility. They must have some knowledge of gaming and popular culture.

Still, they did decide to develop a less powerful system. They did decide to focus more on kid and family-friendly games rather than the hardcore playerbase. They did decide to use a quirky motion control remote system.

Hell, they changed the name from "Revolution" to "Wii".

One starts to wonder if Nintendo actually does have its finger on the pulse of our community or if they're just making this shit up as they go.

Especially the name "Wii". It's hard to get past the fact that they would name their console to sound like a guy's wang.

Maybe "Wang" was already trademarked.

Also, the phallic shaped controller leans toward the "what the f&%@ are these people doing" side of the argument.

So, you're shaking your plastic penis at your Wii.

Yeah.

Maybe all of this shit just got past the approval committee. Maybe they've never actually been on or near the internet, so they weren't aware how readily our people can point out such things.

After all that happened though, they must have put someone in charge of checking these things out. They had to have hired someone to go through game titles being released for their console to look out for this stuff.

Even the third party shit. They'd have to be freaking insane not to be watching like hawks for more obscure sexual references.


Seriously, Nintendo? Seriously?

What the hell?

Maybe we should get somebody on this. You know, pay a guy to sit at a desk and read game titles looking for shit like "Money Shot" or "Meat Whistle".

Christ, it's like I'm the only sane person left on the planet.

21 Comments:

At 6:40 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...

Don't forget about the upcoming:

A Boy and his Blob


My staff (all male) had the same comment on the cover art for it.

They said in unison "sea-gulling"!

 
At 6:56 PM, Blogger Yekyaa said...

Wii Water Sports...
Sorry, I fell off my chair laughing...
*wipes tear from his eye* Heehee this is freakin' hilarious.

 
At 7:55 PM, Blogger Michael C. said...

This post is made of win.

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger Mil'bereth said...

Actually, I'm interested in seeing "A Boy And His Blob". It was a bitching game back in the day on the NES.

 
At 11:13 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...

me too, Mil'bereth! :P

 
At 12:20 AM, Blogger greg said...

ok. I've been trying really hard and thinking a lot about it, but... WTF is so funny? Isn't this game like all the other Wii games? "We turned your real life leisure sports into virtual reality leisure sports!" Did I miss a pun or reference to a penis somewhere along the way?

 
At 1:52 AM, Blogger Vicky said...

Greg, I'm gonna refer you to the urban dictionary entry on water sports, then you'll know what the rest of us are laughing at

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=water+sports

:V

 
At 2:06 AM, Blogger Tim said...

YIKE'S!!

Thnx though Vikcy for clearing that up for me... wasn't to sure either...

 
At 4:41 AM, Blogger Jakk Frost said...

I'm not ashamed to admit I had to follow Vicky's link too, hell I'd almost be ashamed if I could say I didn't have to, except that should the topic come up again in future I don't have to...

Seriously though, I'm wondering if Nintendo is deliberately doing this stuff, putting innuendo based names everywhere accidentally on purpose. It sure is one way to drive up the buzz.

Sometimes it backfires though, too, like that mother who died from water poisoning during that radio contest "Hold your wee for a Wii". In fact I think you did a post about it, Dave.

Anyways, Dave, I was wondering on your thoughts about these latest RMT scams, the in-game tells. One kind is straight up advertising, and that's annoying enough, but this new kind irks me on so many levels.

"Dear game player, we found you have unfair GIL trading, please login on http://www_playonline-ffxi_com to verify, thanks"

I mean my god, bad enough annoying as it is to begin with, but if you're gonna go to all the trouble of setting up the website and hiring your in-game cronies, at least master the freaking language, and stop insulting my intelligence!

/endrant

 
At 6:13 AM, Blogger Cidolfas said...

Yeah, um... I'd never heard of it either.

Besides, what are you supposed to call, you know, the set of sports that takes place in the water? Which is what the game is about? O_o

 
At 6:20 AM, Blogger Hylian said...

alright, yeah, had to follow the link... i still think that one's obscure. and i thought i knew em all.

still, i get your point with nintendo. and i didn't truly realize it until i picked up a wii fit. the wii, and everything about it, is japan's way of laughing at us. i'm sure in japan wii is as common of a word as cantaloupe. the controller? who knew? but i never caught on until the wii fit that it all is really just a joke towards america because only WE would find these names weird.

those who have a wii fit will nod and laugh at every bit of this. first, you make a mii (as if you already haven't) and then it asks you to step on. the moment your foot hits the pad, it say "ooh!", as if to say "ooh, GOD you're fat!"

then if you're overweight or obese (and in this case i am) it shows you just HOW obese you are, and then it does something even worse. i thought the "ooh!" might be able to be overlooked, but then they plump up my mii character so that it more closely resembles me. thanks a lot assholes.

they're laughing at us. "damn fat ass americans!" and when it's not doing that, it's giving you a "wii age" of ridiculously old. right now it thinks my mom is 77. ... happy birthday mother ^^;

have we not caught on yet? they're laughing their asses off! get it? hell, look at the 2 "wii would like to play" guys! tell me their faces aren't trying their damnedest not to laugh!

"wii would like to play" *bow* *snort... snicker snicker...* "HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" "ahem... cut that part out of the commercial ok?"

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger Skaige said...

Sorry, but this just isn't funny. I think you're stretching too far trying to make something out of nothing.

Water sports are....water sports. Just because somewhere along the years someone decides to give something initially innocent a double meaning, or use the word as description for some perverse act...doesn't mean it's all of a sudden hilarious every single time I see it used.


Typically these posts are pretty good at finding humor in places some wouldn't. But as I said...this is just too much of a stretch for me to find funny.

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger Dxoh said...

Dave already stated that he writes this blog based on what HE (Dave) finds funny and what he wants to write. Whether you find it funny or not is irrelevant. Simply put... if those among us find his posts amusing, then we will read and laugh along with him. If there are people out there that don't find them amusing, they won't read anymore. This ain't economics. No supply and demand. He puts it out there, regardless. If you don't find it amusing, but still read and post, my advice is to apply gasoline to your computer and light it, instead of flaming a blog. More productive to society with that method.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Blueyez said...

I sadly know what "water sports" are (not from personal experience thank you) "sea-gulling" though I admit I've got no clue O.o; Sometimes I think that the names are all part of the appeal, after all these are aimed at younger people to some extent and that kind of humour fits right in (you said wii heheheh) So I for one intend to laugh my butt off as I attempt to swing my wii-mote around while playing water sports... ^.~

 
At 12:04 PM, Blogger Toxophile said...

I am amazed there are people left on the planet that haven't heard the term "water sports". How is life under that rock?

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger Jeffrey Mathis said...

The best part is that people still buy the merchandise and love it!

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Jakk Frost said...

Y'know what, I just realized, never mind Dave, I'm pretty sure I can guess what you're feelings about the new RMT tell schemes would be, considering the number of GM calls they're generating...

 
At 3:37 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

Thank god Nintendo's online policy makes MMOs on the Wii basically impossible. Otherwise it might end civilization.

In you think WoW is bad, imagine Legend of Zelda Online.

 
At 6:03 AM, Blogger Hylian said...

Legend of Zelda online? no. don't ever say that again. XD. Every time a game or idea goes "online" it gets horribly ruined...

Remember shenmue online? matrix online? >< scaryyyyy...

Leave Zelda where it is... There's only one hero, ok? ONE! lol. (except in 4 swords... but that doesn't really count...)

This humble Hylian begs and pleads PLEEEEEASE keep us offline!!!! T_T

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger Sean MacNabb said...

Yeah, the Wii only gained a HUGE marketshare for Nintendo, and the console and its games fly off the shelves. They have their finger nowhere near the pulse of the game and console buying community. Oh wait, they were smart enough to fill a niche that wasnt already filled and have gained billions of dollars in revenue. Cant say I completely agree with you on this one here. Our hardcore gaming needs are being met with the PS3 and Xbox 360. Why compete directly with such a tight market?

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger Zag said...

I wonder if Nintendo has a few intern gamble on who will come up with the most odd concepts, usually border line wrong.

A bit like Disney hiding penises in the clouds on Lion King.. :X

 

Post a Comment

<< Home