Friday, September 25, 2009

A Conundrum

I find myself in a philosophical predicament.

Is Megan Fox really hot?

Now, the red-blooded male in me says "What the F&%@ is wrong with you? Of course, she's hot, you moron!"

Incidentally, the red-blooded male in me is a bit of a dick.

Looking at her, you'd have to be retarded not to see that she is at least physically attractive. She's one of the main reasons why most men (and possibly women) went to see Transformers.

But is that enough?

See, as much as the girl is nice to look at, the geek in me is saying "She's as dumb as a box of hair. Seriously, her IQ is probably -7."

I realize we're not hiring as a UN ambassador or anything, but there has to be a line somewhere. We have to have some limit on exactly where you'd be willing to put your penis.

I probably wouldn't even care if half the news posts on Digg and Reddit didn't have something to do with the latest patently retarded thing to come out of this girl's mouth.

She compared Michael Bay to Hitler.

I'm not even kidding.

My knowledge of history is admittedly lacking, but I don't recall Hitler making over the top, barely sensible action flicks that replace any thread of plot with explosions.

And I assume I might have read about it if Michael Bay tried to annihilate an entire race of people.

How am I supposed to respect this person in any way?

I don't really care if everyone thinks she's the hottest woman in the universe. I need a woman to at least have an IQ higher than her shoe size.

That isn't asking too much, is it?

Is it really?

There are tons, literally tons, of incredibly hot, SMART women out there. Why aren't we giving them any attention?

Can we at least get Megan Fox a tutor or a library card or something?

I don't ask for a lot out of the human race. Basically, dfon't kill me when I'm on the freeway and don't talk to me unless you have to.

That's not a lot to ask for.

But can we maybe get over the whole Megan Fox thing and find someone else to obsess over. At least, someone with an intelligence that doesn't rival that of a grilled cheese sandwich?

I'm glad we had this talk.

30 Comments:

At 9:28 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...

I bet there are men that would be willing to put their penis in a grilled cheese sandwich instead.


lol

 
At 9:51 PM, Blogger Jon said...

It is rather warm and yummy.

 
At 10:04 PM, Blogger Beniki said...

Probably not after someone's put their wang in it.

 
At 10:27 PM, Blogger Edwin said...

Um... yeah that's definitely in the look but don't touch category lol

 
At 12:56 AM, Blogger dragonsvsvampires said...

I don't even have her in a look but no touch category...

She is quite simply not worth my time.

But then I can find someone most people call ugly quite attractive and vice versa.

To me, I don't give a rats arse about looks. I treat everyone with respect until I find out their personality. And if they are dumb wasteful cum stains... I don't associate with them..

 
At 1:52 AM, Blogger CalebGarwin said...

ok this still makes her look bad but hitler was a visionary and did great things. yes they were very terrible things but still great.

 
At 2:38 AM, Blogger Kahsha said...

It's all about the grilled cheese!

Stay on topic people! ~.^

 
At 4:51 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

From what I've heard, the "Bay = Hitler" thing was on the word of a crew member of Transformers who sounded like the world's biggest Michael Bay fanboy. He could've easily been exaggerating out of hatred because she just didn't get along with his totally awesome idol.

Of course, I'd be just as willing to believe that she really IS that dumb. I'd just need the word of more than one person to confirm it.

 
At 6:49 AM, Blogger keiichi said...

I think the subconscious concern of her really short thumbs makes her think up weird associations.

 
At 7:54 AM, Blogger Christopher said...

Can I just say that as a straight, red blooded, 20 something male that Megan Fox is not attractive. I don't get it, I really don't see what anyone sees in her.

Hollywood is really scraping the bottom of the barrel these days. There don't seem to be any real lookers in the movies under the age of 30 anymore.

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger B4UTRUST said...

I don't know...

Bay did commit genocide against the childhoods of millions of people by making his craptastic Bayformers wankfest. And most of his movies can be considered crimes against humanity at large. And I'm fairly certain forced viewing of his 'creations' is outlawed under the Hauge accords.

It's a weak parallel, but not totally beyond the scope of possibility...

Now that being said, Megan Fox is attractive physically. However, I must agree with our illustrious and lordly GM Dave on this one. A woman with a 3digit IQ is usually hotter than a chick with a 2 letter bra-size.

Sadly, I usually find that the characters most of these actresses play are actually hotter than they really are. Willow from Buffy for instance. She's a computer geek and a witch and absolutely hot. Buffy? Just eye candy. Alyson Hannigan? Cute, but no Willow. Sarah? Meh, take her or leave her.

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger Sword said...

The goth chick from NCIS comes to mind. I know she's probably not as smart as they make her out to be on the show, she's not the most physically attractive woman either, but I find her quite attractive just because of her quirky personality.

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger Estradon said...

@Sword this quote about pauley is from The Craig Ferguson Show: She was an undergrad student in sociology, psychology, and criminal science. She started her master's degree in criminal science before ending up in the entertainment industry.

 
At 10:27 AM, Blogger Jon said...

I wonder how Hitler ate his grilled cheese. Did his granmammy cut the crust or leave it on and make triangle sammiches?

 
At 11:17 AM, Blogger Saifer said...

I saw Transformers and it was my 1st time watching that girl, but I had heard her name b4, and I wasnt impressed..

 
At 11:59 AM, Blogger sRc said...

youre getting old Dave, your taste in women is becoming more sophisticated

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Katherine said...

Thanks [GM]Dave! Made me smile today. Being smart should be seen as sexier on some level. Yes, it won't ever overcome having to wear a full time retainer or having inch thick glasses - but most smart girls aren't that far gone in the looks department, we're just a little busy thinking about actual things to have time for the 36 step beautification process every morning most dumb chicks seem to have oodles of time for.

 
At 4:19 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

I don't know about her real intelligence, but I can say that when I first saw her in the original Transformers, I thought she was perhaps the hottest woman ever. She was a cheerleader, preppy, snob, who hooked up with the nerdy guy and didn't blink three times about giant alien robots. Much less fighting against them herself. How can you NOT love that?

Then I saw How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. She played a practically retarded actress that the magazine turned into a star. Horrible actress (in the movie), hot, and dumb as a rock. She was still the same physically (although less covered in many scenes) but I had absolutely no attraction to her. Didn't even care when she was in bra and panties, mainly because she was drinking and snorting, and making bets that people could have sex with her as a prize.

Meh.

 
At 4:20 PM, Blogger Daniel said...

Also, be careful of grilled cheese! That cheese can be HOT, and really really sticky.

 
At 5:28 PM, Blogger Sven said...

Eh, low intelligence makes it easier to get into her pants.

Once you get past the body guards and such, of course. Which makes me realize how aptly named those are... Heheh.

 
At 10:23 PM, Blogger Atomic Skull said...

Short version of the "hitler" story is that she threw a hissy fit when Bay wouldn't put up with her bullshit.

 
At 11:06 PM, Blogger Branden said...

@Atomic Skull

Actually I think she made the hitler comment when Bay commanded her to put on weight for the movie.

 
At 11:06 PM, Blogger Branden said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 2:29 AM, Blogger Peter said...

It's quite simple: she's an MFOS girl. When you're with her, she'd better be keeping her Mouth Full Or Shut.

 
At 7:59 AM, Blogger Chrysalis said...

TY GM DAVE!!!!! It's so nice to see someone with my standards. *laughs* Of course I take a certain amount of pride in being hot AND intelligent, not necessarily in that order!

@Christopher: If you see this.... why does your pic look so familiar?

 
At 11:38 AM, Blogger PV said...

She gets a tatoo of of sentence fragment from King Lear, and messes up the quote. This is not a smart young woman.

 
At 2:43 PM, Blogger Mil'bereth said...

Yeah, don't waste your time. There are way prettier fish in the sea, and prettier women too.

I don't see what the big deal is. She has an average Hollywood figure that would maybe look pretty if she didn't have all that ink on it. I mean she has an entire short story tatted on the left side of her rib cage.

I mean with the entire internet at our fingertips, I'm sure we can find someone more worthy of our knucle-children.

 
At 5:56 PM, Blogger Leut said...

Mmmmmm...retarded grilled cheese twat.....

 
At 8:58 AM, Blogger Daniel said...

That's funny that someone said grilled cheese sandwich, cause see, cheese is made from a bunch of bacteria and stuff and then you look at Megan Fox and..... Ah I won't go there.

I used to think she was hot. Then the fad was over and now she's just... Eh. Saw her at Comic-con and was not impressed.

Mila Kunis though...! I'd hit that over a grilled cheese ANY day.

 
At 10:12 AM, Blogger Dorian Mode said...

"What's the sexiest part of your body?"

"I think it's your brain."

~ Frank Zappa
(Look him up, kids, it's infotaining!)

 

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