Alright, Already.I just got an e-mail from last month's top donator.
Apparently, she thought that when we agreed on her chosen topic for a theme week, that would mean I would start on it immediately.
This, as it turned out, would be incorrect.
I don't think I can describe in words just how bad I am at sticking to anything even remotely resembling a schedule. Perhaps it has something to do with my video game obsession or my drinking hobby.
Or those women in my house who insist on me actually spending time with them.
Some strange combination of elements in my life have left me with a wicked case of ADD.
This has an added benefit of incredibly pissing off anyone who actually expects you to do anything.
Just ask Susan.
Still, this kind, generous woman was gracious enough to donate, so I should probably get started on this thing.
Plus me posting this really gives me no more excuses.
I do so love my excuses.
Anyway, when I first contacted her, I explained the general process and asked her for a number of themes she'd like to read. That way, we could work through the list and pick something that would make us both happy.
She had no suggestions.
She had a demand.
Apparently, this poor, poor woman is under the misguided assumption that I have a soul. She thinks that deep, deep (deep, deep, deep) down, there must be some small shred of my humanity left.
There isn't. I've looked.
Still, she wants to hear a week of the things I regret the most. You know, the things I've done that I really feel bad about.
I laughed when I read that part.
There was, however, a time before dealing with the general public had turned my heart into a cold, black vortex of hate. Back in the before time, I was still capable of feeling empathy and remorse.
Thus, I agreed to humor her request and regale you with stories from my sordid past that I would sooner forget.
Starting Monday, I will try to explain the seven things that I really regret.
It'd be kind of like the seven worst things I've ever done, but I enjoyed most of those.
And then, At the end of the week, I will be sending out the new fan pack just filled to the brim with heartfelt emotion.
Or as reasonable a facsimile as I can make up.
As usual, anyone who donated $5 or more this month will receive this awesome fan pack with exclusive stories and articles and reviews and... other... stuff.
I used to include pictures I made, but the nice people at Photoshop sent me a cease and desist letter. Something about "crimes against sight and humanity."
But wait! That's not all! The person who donates the most during the month gets to pick their very own theme for a week's worth of posts.
That's right. Seven days of whatever subject floats your boat.
Maybe you really enjoy hearing someone make snarky comments about video games.
I can do that.
Can you believe it?
Act now and you'll be done before someone else who didn't act now!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and try to remember what a conscience feels like.