7 Deadly Sins of Gaming - Sin 7Sin 7: Voice Acting
This is, without a doubt, the absolutely worst, most terrible sin committed by game designers.
Not including Superman 64, of course.
Obviously, in any game involving dialogue, voice acting is going to be superior to text. Anyone would prefer to hear actual dialogue rather than reading cold, dead letters.
Until the exact moment they actually hear voice acting.
The quality of voice acting in games ranges somewhere between horrible and makes you wish you were deaf.
I'm not sure if I misspelled that last word.
I really don't understand what the problem is. I would really assume that whoever is involved with recording the voice actors is able to hear them.
That would probably be helpful to the job.
And yet, the fact that they could hear these horrendous mockeries of human speech and still press them to discs and charge people money for them suggests that they are all very, very deaf.
Not just regular deaf. Like... SUPER deaf.
I don't know what that means, but even a regular deaf person would be able to hear just how freaking terrible these voices are.
Where exactly do they find these voice actors anyway?
Wanted: voice actor for video game work. Must have references and be completely unable to express appropriate emotion. Being a robot considered a plus.
I'm not asking for Sean Connery doing Shakespeare or anything, but at least get someone who can attach inflections and emotions that suit the dialogue being recorded.
No, instead, we end up with people who not only can't express emotion, but may not even understand the emotions they're trying to express.
They have the acting range of a piece of driftwood.
The driftwood that all of the other driftwood makes fun of.
And these are the people that are trying to create atmosphere and substance in our games, the people that we are supposed to immerse ourselves in.
Not bloody likely.
It's kind of hard to get into a game when every other minute is ruined by inane and annoying voice acting.
Hey, it's a cutscene explaining an incredibly important plot point that ties together the whole game.
And I'm here trying to figure out if the main character is being voiced by that kid from Saved by the Bell: The New Class.
Yeah... Total immersion there, folks.
I don't think there's any one of us, any gamer, that has not played a game involving voice acting and not wanted to bring those responsible to justice.
Hell, anyone who ever played FFX.
I love me some Final Fantasy (Who knew?), but damn. That game could make someone take a power drill to their ear.
And Stella Deus... If you've never played the game, go buy a PS2, find a copy, and then take a few hours to play.
You may also want to buy a hammer to smash the PS2 when you're done.
That MAY get the memory out of your brain.
If not, Home Depot is having a sale on power drills.
Honestly, I think there should be federal punishments for people who put out games with terrible voice acting. Severe criminal penalties for anyone involved with ruining good games.
The actors should be shot before they can act again.
Imagine the fake, tone dead screams.
And the people who made the games... Oh, there's only one punishment that would fit the crime.
They should have to play their own games. Over and over and over.
Wait... That's too cruel. Even for me.
Yeah, we'll just shoot those guys, too.
Even I'm not that evil.