Bannable Offenses

Dammit To Hell

It seems that time has come around once again. It's your favorite time of the month, kids.

Fan pack time.

Yes, I realize this time that it's been more than four weeks. That was entirely on purpose.

And no, that's not me making a convenient excuse. If I was actually late, I'd just say "I'm late."

Or make up a much more awesome excuse. Perhaps involving pirates.

I decided to wait a week or so and see if anyone mentioned it. I really don't want people thinking I'm some greedy, money grubbing bastard, so I thought I'd see if anyone actually cared about the fan pack.

I'd wait until someone asked.

See, I've spent so much time developing the other terrible facets of my charming personality that people thinking I'm greedy would be a real step down for me. I think I've built up a pretty solid reputation for being mean, cruel, and mildly insane.

Greed would be so far beneath me.

Okay... Slightly beneath me.

Still, I like to think I'm better than that.

Fortunately, it didn't take too long for someone to notice and send me a message. Then I got another and then another.

As long as you guys are still interested in the fan pack, I'm still willing to crank them out.

Honestly, the theme weeks have been a lot of fun. I'm trying to keep my posting to every second or third day to keep me from burning out (you probably remember the last time that happened), but these weeks of straight posting have been interesting.

I get less sleep those weeks, but screw it. I barely sleep anyway.

Anyway, the next fan pack will be sent out early next week. I'm thinking Monday or Tuesday night.

Seriously. Monday or Tuesday.

Or Wednesday.

As usual, anyone who donates $5 or more to support the blog will become an instant member of the theoretically official [GM]Dave fan club. All fan club members receive the fan pack as well as my personal seal of approval.

Basically, if we ever meet each other for some unforeseen reason, I promise not to strike you in the face.

That's a big deal for me. Striking random strangers in the face is one of my hobbies.

Other hobbies include running away quickly and hiding behind shrubbery.

Also, the person who donates the most each month gets to pick their very own theme for their very own theme week. Anything you want to read about for seven straight days.

I even provide suggestions though no one has yet to take me up on a week of me saying obscene things about their mother.

C'mon, people. Lighten up a little.

This month's top donator opted not to hear seven days of "yo momma's so fat" jokes and instead came up with his own theme.

I didn't even make fun of him.

He wants to hear my thoughts on the worst things that game designers do, the things I absolutely hate about video games.

He wants me to bitch about games for a straight week.

This won't even be challenging. I do that anyway. I'll just have Susan write down whatever the hell I'm ranting about each day.

Princess Peach. Somebody tie that bitch down so she stops getting kidnapped.

See? How hard is that?

...

They'll be better than that, I swear.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 8:20 PM