Thursday, May 28, 2009

Closed Beta

Listen... I know I don't write about FFXI a lot anymore. In my attempts to broaden my horizons and keep the blog fresh, I find myself moving away from FFXI stories.

I mean, how many times can you write about retarded Red Mages before people get sick of you?

Don't go back and count.

Even though I don't write about it as much as I used to, that doesn't mean you people can get on with crap and I won't notice.

[GM]Dave is always watching.

Do you know what really pisses me off? I mean what just really grinds my gears?

Morons who say shit about FFXI players being beta testers.

FFXI is a finished game. It is, as a whole, a complete experience that any player could pick up, play, and enjoy.

But, not being happy with "good enough", the Devs bust their asses figuring out ways to make the game better.

Seriously. That's their job.

There's a room full of guys who do nothing all day, but try and make the game better for you guys.

Most of the day.

They get bathroom breaks.

Their entire job is to sit around and just think shit up, just pull stuff out of the air that'll make you guys just a little bit happier.

Just a little.

Those guys get a thank you e-mail and it's like the fourth of frickin' July. They're dancing in the aisles like Ewoks.

Do they get those e-mails very often?

Of course not.

Instead, people just bitch about what they want. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

And do they give up? No. They work their asses off trying to do whatever they can to make the FFXI experience even better than it already is.

Just a few days ago, they rolled out a new feature: The Character Reactivation Service.

You might recognize it as an extension of the Return Home to Vana'diel campaign. Rather than waiting for the campaign to come around once a year, former players will now be able to restore old characters and return to FFXI in style.

Any time they want.

Think about that. This isn't even a feature for current players. This is designed solely to help former players come back to the fold.

We're working to help people who don't even play anymore.

That's freaking dedication.

And what do we get for this new feature? Do the devs get praise and thanks for an obviously helpful feature?

Hell no.

Instead, people line up on the forums to give them shit for it.

Then... Then we get the most retarded thing that any player could possibly type:

"I love how FFXI players are basically unpaid beta testers."

I want you to understand me... THIS IS RETARDED.

RETARDED.

RE. TAR. DED.

Every single time we put in a new feature that people have been asking for, some idiot has to break out this line like they're doing us a favor by playing.

What the hell?!

The line doesn't even make sense.

Believe it or not, beta testing doesn't involve playing a game for hours and then bitching about something you don't like. You spend hour after hour testing game mechanics and actively trying to break the system so that the devs can keep that problem from occurring again.

It is a difficult and arduous job.

Beta testing doesn't mean complaining because Selbina didn't have a Nomad Moogle.

Even if it did, the devs just went and fixed whatever it was that you must have thought was terribly broken. You're posting in the freaking thread about them fixing it.

They fixed what you thought was wrong.

WHY ARE YOU STILL COMPLAINING?!

WHY?!

Dear sweet bacon Jesus, can't you just shut the hell up for once?

Just once?

I'm not saying you need to write up a heartfelt thank you or anything. That's fine.

Just don't write anything at all.

If it's such a freaking hardship putting up with your incredibly difficult "beta testing" duties, maybe you should find something more constructive to do with your time.

Like pounding nails through a board with your dick.

Now, I'm not talking to everyone here. Most of you are productive members of the community.

We appreciate comments from the FFXI community. Feedback allows us to refine a game we all love to make it even better.

Constructive feedback.

The annoying little bitches who come in after a problem is fixed to tell us how there used to be a problem and how unfair it is that they used to have to deal with said problem...

Not so helpful.

In the interest of everyone's happiness, I am announcing that FFXI is officially no longer in beta.

You "beta testers" are no longer required.

Don't let the logout hit you in the ass on your way.

The rest of us will be over here playing our game.

Thanks for the help with the beta testing though. That was real helpful.

Thanks to you, we've already reduced the number of idiots who play the game.

Just as soon as you log out.

27 Comments:

At 7:43 PM, Blogger The Anaconda said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 7:44 PM, Blogger sRc said...

bacon jesus?

 
At 7:52 PM, Blogger Stacie said...

I've thought about sending a word of thanks to those people... but what is their address anyways? O_o I don't think that sort of information is public. However, I do a good job of doing nothing :|

 
At 8:04 PM, Blogger Mali said...

I am happy for all the changes that has been made. :) Its great not to have to wait hours for a party. Though what does annoy me is that people don't take the time to skill up making waaaay {Too weak} 75 characters... But thats their fault. Moogles in selbina makes my life so much easier when teleing a party.

 
At 8:10 PM, Blogger gareth said...

Beta testers NEVER get paid afaik... QA peeps and pre beta testers (generally a small group of inhouse people) get paid.. the price for beta testing is seeing the game b4 anyone else. so yeh that sentence doesnt make sense... if they had anything to complain about is that fact said complainers PAY for the game and the subs then surmise that its a beta ... more fool them hahahah

 
At 9:02 PM, Blogger Sword said...

You pay for this game for the "privlige" of playing it, just like we pay for a drivers license for the "privlige" to drive, Beta testers painstakingly help developers to find bugs in return for the "privlige" of playing the game before others.

In many ways people do not realize most things in life are often a privlige and not a God given right, if only more would realize this the world would be a much better place.

 
At 9:06 PM, Blogger Twinblades said...

This is a shout out to all the FFXI game developers, keep up the good work!

By constantly improving this game you are slowly making it a better experience for everyone.

TL;DR version: GJ!

 
At 12:12 AM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

As long as the rapture does not destroy vana'deil I will keep playing.

Beta or not, the game is a challenge, but it is fun. If you are not having fun, go play wow, you will get max level by wiping yourself correctly.

But another thing is: How they can say that the game is beta. "ESRB: Game experience may change during online game." That statement is more true for MMOs than any other online game.

One of the best things about FFXI is that it does change, I don't know if I'd be having as much fun now if the game was the same for the last 5 years that I have played. I might still be playing it, but it wouldn't be as fun.


Oh, and I want some bacon jesus.

 
At 1:00 AM, Blogger Yuuzuki said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 1:02 AM, Blogger Yuuzuki said...

Thank you for officially close the beta for all those who haven't realized that it had ended ages ago!
If they read your post I'm sure they will understand how important it is for them to quit instantly.

 
At 5:51 AM, Blogger Zsolt said...

+

 
At 5:54 AM, Blogger Zsolt said...

don't let it get to you dave. The ultimate truth is that no matter what you do, how you do it or when you do it, there will ALWAYS be idiot people bitching about it. Seriously people can bitch about anything and they will. I think the game developers don't even bother with it because they know some little bastard will cry about it, they don't make the changes for them, but for the rest 98% of the community who really apreciate what they are doing.

 
At 6:32 AM, Blogger Adam said...

"Like pounding nails through a board with your dick."

Extra funny to me since I brought Real Genius to work today

 
At 7:22 AM, Blogger ^Veronika Teixeira^ =) said...

Amazing [GM]Dave that's how you do it!! Get the bithcing idiots out! We only want REAL players actually interested in the game and not thinking is some beta testing shit.
I love the logout part btw ^^,

 
At 9:29 AM, Blogger Tyler said...

While I do agree entirely, I do have to point out that a lot of times, things do need to be complained about. I mean, look at the new augmenting system.

"Customize your gear! Put on up to 2 augments of your choice! Breathe life into old equipment!"

Yeah... turns out there was a mis-translation somewhere when they said that. How it actually works is you spend Tabs to prepare an NM, pop it with an item of your choice, kill the NM, get rewarded with the item you traded with random negative bonuses on it.

All that hard work for a Polearm with -3 STR, -3 DEX, +1 MND (an example of what I saw once). Just what we always wanted!

Oh yeah, and you can't remove or reroll your augments either. And you also aren't allowed to trade or sell augmented items. So that 2,200,000g Peacock Charm that you just traded to get DEX-3, AGI-3, Resist-vs-Fire+5 is now worthless.

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger Michael said...

I believe Yahtzee Crenshaw said it best with:

"Fans are whiny, complaining dip-shits that will never -ever- appreciate any concession you make. The moment you block out their shrill, tremulous voices, the happier you'll be for it..."

Paraphrased for truth.

 
At 1:23 PM, Blogger Leut said...

Don't you like how we are basically all beta testers for this blog?







...that was all full of zing....

 
At 1:27 PM, Blogger Thalandor46 said...

Wait a second here, I think you got it wrong Dave. I agree with your point. People whining about new features, nerfs, tweaks, and whatever other updates, retarded, definately.

But I think the "beta testers" comments refer to the bugs that come with the updates. Seriously, an update is in development, and not one person on the FFXI dev staff goes "Uhh, hey guys, sneak attack aint workin. Yeah, it's backwards. Should fix it."? It's stuff like that which leads people to question whether SE actually tests anything. Believe me, I get it, a lot goes into each update, some stuff is bound to go unnoticed, but I understand when people joke about being beta testers.

 
At 2:50 PM, Blogger Tyler said...

May also be because Square-Enix is coming out with a new MMO soon and I think they're doing a lot of recognition to what we do/don't like with FFXI right now.

To be honest, all complaints and feedback for FFXI are probably going to make codename: Rapture better.

As long as they make it similar in controls and mechanics to FFXI and leave out some tedious things, it'll be a good game.

 
At 6:13 PM, Blogger Music-chan said...

Just about every MMO I've ever played is a work in progress. EVERY ONE. The only finished games out there are single player games. That's part of what makes MMOs so much more exciting to me; they will always be changing up until the point the game ends. If people can't accept that, they need to go back to their single-player games and leave us the hell alone.

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger Fulluphigh said...

That's the thing about MMO's, You can never be expected to work out all the bugs in testing. A bug that only occurs literally one in several million times will actually happen quite often when you have millions of people playing.

On the other hand, something that happens everytime, like the sneak attack deal. That's sad.

Oh, and Just to throw this out there, an update that lets you retrieve a cancelled account isn't really a big deal. At all. The fact that before hand, if you took a several month long break, you lost your character, would be an instant deterent to ever play again. They could just keep your accounts permanently on the server, if they wanted you to come back to them.

 
At 9:50 PM, Blogger Sword said...

Removing characters off the server after a certain period of time helps alleviate some of the memory load off the main server. Many MMO's do this after a certain period has past like Diablo II and Maple Story.

 
At 1:31 AM, Blogger Henry said...

I can see cleaning off characters in a free game, but not one you have to pay for (as in monthly not just to buy)

 
At 2:57 PM, Blogger Totema said...

Agree 100%. Why don't people realize that online games are SUPPOSED TO BE works in progress? Instead of complaining that the game was harder before, be thankful for the new features and consider your past adventures as valuable experience.

 
At 9:32 PM, Blogger Masa said...

I have played ffxi since its conception years ago, but really it starts to get unappealing rather quickly. Since you mention beta testing, i wanted to bring this up

Square Enix- We Are Developing A Game To Replace Final Fantasy XI:

http://petfoodalpha.com/3014/square-enix-we-are-developing-a-game-to-replace-final-fantasy-xi

 
At 5:01 AM, Blogger Salt said...

You spend hour after hour testing game mechanics and actively trying to break the system so that the devs can keep that problem from occurring again.Actually as another post mentioned, that's what QC testers do, BETA testing comes after the normal QC testing.
BETA testing is to put the software in the hands of actual users, many of them, to catch bugs that QC has missed.
BETA testing is basically quantity over quality, so feedback can come in all forms :P, but it's necessary as there is only so much a relatively small QC team can do.

With WoW recent expansion, there were complains of "we are paying to beta test the game" as well.

I don't blame them. I was one of them. :P
The thing here is most players expect the game to be relatively functional and balanced when launched.
A good number of us felt that some of the balance issues and bugs should have been caught AND fixed during BETA, not patched in after the game has gone live.

 
At 4:00 PM, Blogger James said...

Its definitely still in beta.... if an update occurs and they have to immediately remove that zone, its still testing the f*cking problem. Granted they are constantly testing my patients with new problems, but they are mass testing new patches/updates. Maybe its not continuous but its beta here and there. Either that, or SE just can't program worth a sh*t and they hired morons straight out of sped class to program. Take your pick, beta or sped?

 

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