STOP COMPLAINING!We're going to play a new game, okay?
No. Not WoW.
Seriously. Put the discs away.
Our new game will be called "Everyone Stops Complaining Right Now."
The newest expansion can be called "Wrath of the Dave King".
Yes, I realize I'm not actually a king.
I would, however, be willing to fly to Europe and murder an actual king and then usurp his throne, if it will mean that people will stop being whiny little bitches.
[GM]Dave: Willing to commit regicide to stem the tide of retardedness.
How do you think that would look on a business card?
I need to go call a printer.
In one of the more recent game updates, we put in a new feature called treasure caskets.
Basically, when you kill a monster, there is a random chance that a large chest filled with free items will appear for the taking.
This is quite literally free stuff.
And yet people complained.
People complained about getting free stuff.
Could one of you please explain this to me?
Yeah, maybe if you had to undergo some epic quest and battle against hardship only to receive a terrible reward.
But this is free stuff that just appears.
In front of you.
Right in front of you.
It's right there.
You were killing the monster anyway. That's the entire reason you were in the area in the first place.
You were killing monsters to gain exp. Then a chest full of free stuff appeared right in front of you.
Man, I'd be pissed, too.
How dare they expect you to actually open a chest and figure out who gets the item on your own?
That would require a minimal amount of effort.
Oh, shit. This one has a lock that requires the most basic understanding of numbers.
I am outraged.
You know what? If it's that big a deal, DON'T OPEN THE DAMNED THING.
Just pretend it's not there.
Remember last month? Remember when you used to kill things and chests full of free stuff did not appear?
Yeah, just pretend it's like that.
If someone in your group mentions the chest, you should burn them because they are a witch from the future.
Damned time-traveling witches.
I can't even comprehend the type of thought process that would be required to somehow turn this idea into a bad thing.
IT'S FREE STUFF.
FREE STUFF IN A BOX.
All you have to do is open the box and then someone takes the item.
How frigging hard is that?
How much easier would we have to make it, honestly?
Next time you log in, you find out you've attained level 75 and your inventory is now full of free stuff?
This isn't WoW.
I'm serious, people. The next person to file a GM report about this is getting fed to a dragon.
The next person.
My finger's already on the button.
Do you know what I'd like for Christmas? I'd like just one day where everyone woke up and stopped acting retarded.
Just one day.
Can we get on that?
I've been good.