Bannable Offenses

Ding Dong...

What an absolutely fabulous day.

Now, I'm not usually a morning person. Unless I haven't gone to sleep yet, there's really no reason to be up in the morning.

But today... Today was different.

When I woke up this morning, it was like the world was just a little bit brighter. Birds were singing. Children were laughing.

It was a new day.

I wasn't quite so sure what put the extra spring in my step. I hadn't slept any better than usual and nothing major happened last night.

Hell, I hadn't even started drinking yet.

Still, I knew today was special.

Then I saw the calendar. Saturday, October 25th.

And it was circled in red.

That's when I remembered... Jack Thompson was officially disbarred today.

...

Did anyone else just breathe a sigh of relief?

Let me say that again.

Jack Thompson was officially disbarred today.

It's funny. The world actually seems like a nicer place today. I feel better now, raising a child in a world where Jack Thompson's no longer a lawyer.

Man, what a great day.

Since I was already up and in such a great mood, Susan and I decided to have a special day together to celebrate.

We considered having a party, but that seemed like too much work.

Actually... Anything that involves work seems like too much work.

I barely work when they actually pay me. I'm sure as hell not doing extra work at home.

But we had to think of a way to show our appreciation and respect for such an important day.

So... We played video games.

Yeah, we do that every day.

That thought occurred to us.

Instead of playing our usual games *coughFFXIcough*, we decided to run a Jack Thompson marathon playing a bunch of the games that he's tried to get banned.

We started out with a little Bully.

Honestly, the game was incredibly offensive. The mild violence and suggestion of school-related fighting sent me over the deep end.

It was almost enough to flush my entire career down the toilet.

Luckily, it turned out I wasn't actually retarded.

Then we moved on to a nice GTA medley. We took turns driving around the cities and running over random citizens.

It really didn't matter which game we played. It basically became a competition to see who could kill the most people before getting caught by the police.

I won.

After several hours of playing, we decided there was only one game we could end the day with.

Manhunt.

Damn.

This is one sick game. You literally get points for how horribly you can kill other people.

Sadly, pet dragon was not an option.

To make it a little more interesting, we started making up our own sound effects. It was like America's Funniest Home Videos except you replace the getting hit in the gorin with stabbing someone in the neck.

Every time we killed somebody, we'd go Sploink or Splat or something. Then we'd laugh and laugh.

And they say video games desensitize people...

By the time we decided to call it a day, we were both exhausted. We'd killed enough people to populate a small country and we'd had a great time doing it.

What a great day.

Happy Jack Thompson disbarment day, everybody.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 8:08 PM