Monday, October 13, 2008

Theme Week - [GM]Dave's Childhood Vol. 2

My First Nintendo

Despite my love for the Atari, I don't think I'd really have considered myself a gamer at that point.

Yeah, I loved the games, but they hadn't yet taken root as part of my being.

I wasn't a gamer.

Then... Then I heard that the NES system was coming out.

And I went retarded.

I had to have that system. Day one in North America, I had to be holding that damned thing in my little hands or someone was going to pay.

There was only one problem with my whole plan.

I had no money.

I don't mean I had very little money.

I had literally no money at all.

With some careful saving and by floating a small loan from my mother, I MAY have been able to put together enough money to buy a can of Pepsi.

I needed money.

Nintendo money.

Something had to be done.

I spent days, perhaps even weeks, formulating plan after plan.

Kill the ice cream man?

Too messy.

Rob a bank?

Too difficult.

Rob my grandmother?

Put that one in the "maybe" pile.

But none of them would work.

Time grew shorter and shorter as launch day drew ever closer. Every passing second put me one step closer to my deadline.

And then it hit me. A plan so clever, so devious, so EVIL that it was bound to work.

Dave>> Mom?
Dave>> I think I'd like to start collecting quarters.

Laugh if you want. You're missing the beautiful simplicity of my cunning plan.

I managed to convince my mother that collecting quarters was not only a good idea, but that she should help me.

Apparently, if you say the word 'educational' enough times, parents will fall for anything.

You might also think I should have aimed bigger than quarters, but that would have been a mistake. Too large a denomination would have thrown up some flares.

It was perfect.

So everyday, my mother would come home from work and empty out all of her change. We would go through the quarters and I'd Ooh and Ahh over the year or design.

I really didn't care.

Then, when I'd acted 'educational' enough, I'd grab the quarters and run them straight up to my bank.

We did this every single day.

I'm pretty sure my mom went out of her way to get extra quarters in her change just for me.

People can be so sweet when you're conning them.

As time went by, my "collection" grew rather large.

Then, as the day approached, I made my move.

Dave>> Mom...
Dave>> I don't think I want to collect quarters any more.
Mom>> Really?
Mom>> Why not?
Dave>> Well, it's not as interesting as it used to be.
Dave>> It's not really interactive.
Mom>> Oh...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Mom>> Maybe we should find you a new hobby.

Bingo.

Okay, okay. I had to play it cool.

Dave>> I don't know...
Mom>> Oh, c'mon.
Mom>> Is there anything that you're interested in?
Dave>> Well...
Dave>> There is this new video game system coming out...

This is where you picture me holding my breath.

Mom>> That doesn't sound too bad.
Dave>> Really?

Big eyes. Look hopeful.

Mom>> Sure.
Mom>> Hey, maybe we can roll up your quarters...
Dave>> That's a good idea, Mom.

Actually, the quarters were already rolled and were waiting in a bag to go to the bank.

A few days later, I came home from school to find my beautiful NES waiting on my bed.

I ran and hugged my mom extra tight and, as she looked at me with that look of pure joy on her face, I couldn't help but think...

How many quarters would it be for a dirt bike?

15 Comments:

At 7:02 PM, Blogger Christopher said...

How deliciously evil. Good job sir. I tip my hat.

 
At 7:18 PM, Blogger Gavin said...

The evil genious in the making.

 
At 7:34 PM, Blogger Kahsha said...

I applaud you for taking your quarters to the bank to exchange them for bills.

I've been on the receiving end of far too many piggy bank purchases!

 
At 10:07 PM, Blogger Paul said...

Wait, I was under the impression that your mom, who I'm sure is very classly lady, was made of evil. Thats the impression I've got with your whole Mother's Day stuff. Did that not happen until you got older?

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger Jake said...

And then he figured it out.
"Donations"
It was brilliant. His skill as a story teller would skyrocket as would the cash flow. The time involved was relatively small and enjoyable. The funds for the grander scheme of global domination would soon be Obtained. And then, oh then there would be some changes to make.


Damnit [GM]Dave, your genius nearly escaped me but you've made your intentions quite clear. This makes so much sense now.

Now to start donating and avoid destruction...

 
At 1:09 AM, Blogger J. Scarper said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 1:12 AM, Blogger J. Scarper said...

[GM] Dave, screw you.

SCREW SCREW SCREW SCREW SCREW YOU.

If I'd known it was THAT easy to get myself a console...

...

God I want my PS3.

*bursts out crying*

 
At 6:16 AM, Blogger Vagu'Stae said...

A winner is you!
(pun'd)

 
At 6:37 AM, Blogger [GM]Dave said...

You might also want to try the penny scheme.

Tell your parents you need to try a project for math class on exponential relationships. Have them put a penny in a jar and tell them they have to put twice as much in each day for a month.

You know, put two pennies in the second day, four the third day, and so on.

If you were to actually do this for a month, you'd have well over ten million dollars in pennies.

That's not a typo.

No, this will not actually work in real life, but you may be able to make ten or twenty dollars before your parents figure out the problem.

It depends how stupid your parents are.

 
At 6:55 AM, Blogger RurouniZanza said...

Hard work is for loosers >=]

*stars collecting pennies*

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger Mihai.T said...

forget the 3rd bike , you were actually the kid any parent would love m8 :)

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

This made me giggle to know that you would grow up and ban your poor mother from enjoying a quality video game. She was so nice to you too.

 
At 6:45 PM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

This made me giggle to know that you would grow up and ban your poor mother from enjoying a quality video game. She was so nice to you too.

 
At 11:27 PM, Blogger Dorian Mode said...

Hmmm . . . if only there were some way to do this with PayPal instead of quarters, and unrelated blog readers instead of your mother . . .

 
At 2:21 PM, Blogger Carlos said...

Life is like a Monopoly, it depends way too much in the stupidity of others for survive.

 

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