The Adult GamerAlternate Title: "Are you buying this for your son?"
As I'm sure most of you know, it's not easy being an adult gamer.
If we can even find time in our hectic schedules to sit down and play a game, people still act like we're doing something weird.
I don't know when I crossed that line into adulthood, but I'm sure I never saw a sign about leaving all your video games behind.
You'd think there'd be a sign, wouldn't you?
And yet, every time I mention video games to one of my non-gamer friends, they get this weird look on their face.
I'm sure you know the look. That kind of confused brow furrow like you just started speaking another language.
I've never really understood that.
It's not like I'm breaking out my pokemon cards and asking them to trade or anything.
And what if I did?
If another adult looks at me and asks me about baseball, I don't look at them like they're retarded.
Well... no more than I would usually.
Apparently, there was a memo sent out about what hobbies are appropriate for "grown ups".
I didn't get it.
I can buy a full outfit of camouflage clothing, grab a gun, walk into the woods, get drunk, and shoot an animal in the face.
Try to buy a copy of Call of Duty 4, sit in a nice comfy chair, and play it.
Now, don't get me wrong. I love a good, drunken face shooting as much as the next guy. Throw in some hookers and you've got one hell of a Saturday night.
But how exactly does me sitting on a couch and enjoying a game become the weirder of these two hobbies?
I remember one day I was talking to a guy I know. One of those friends of a friend.
When I mentioned going home to play some FFXI, he got that look on his face.
Yes, that look.
Maybe face shooting isn't that weird of a hobby.
Then, and this is the strangest part, he started calling me Mario.
As in Super Mario.
I mean, what the hell is that about?
That doesn't even make sense.
That's like hearing someone's going to go play baseball and calling him Tiger Woods.
(note: Tiger Woods does not play baseball)
So, I asked him what he does for fun.
[GM]Dave>> So, what do you do for fun?
See? I told you.
Guy>> Oh, I'm in to rock climbing.
And he thinks I'm strange for playing some video games.
How the hell does anyone consider rock climbing to be a normal hobby?
Do you know cliffs exist?
That's God telling you to turn your stupid ass around and walk in the other direction.
If you see a sheer rock face and think "Dude, I'm totally climbing that", then there's a good chance you probably have some form of brain damage.
The good news is that you probably don't need that helmet anymore.
Save your money.
I get that gaming isn't everyone's thing.
I accept that.
But that just means those other people aren't right.
They need to accept that.
It's like a compromise. We'll both agree that one of us likes games and one of us is retarded.
And damn, I like me some games.