Tuesday, March 11, 2008

"Good" News

I never thought SE had something against me personally.

I'm a good employee.

I work hard.

Sometimes, I even go out of my way to raise morale around the office.

Who do you think suggested open bar Fridays?

And open bar Thursdays?

And Wednesdays?

Or crazy hat day?

One day, I just came into work wearing a silly hat. I figured I could spread some good cheer amongst my fellow GMs.

[GM]Greg>> Hey, Dave.
[GM]Greg>> Nice hat.
[GM]Dave>> Thanks.
[GM]Greg>> Where'd you get it?
[GM]Dave>> I got it at your house.
[GM]Dave>> The guy behind me in line didn't have change for a dollar.

And off he ran.

I guess he wanted to go get a hat for himself.

It was nice to cheer him up like that. I heard a couple of days later that he was having some marriage problems.

So, you see, I'm a nice guy.

Shut up. I'm nice.

That's why I was surprised when SE decided to personally hurt me.

Oh, no. Nobody got fired.

A while ago, I made a decision.

I was sick and tired of waiting for games to be translated into english before I could play them.

This is how games are usually released:

-Japan gets a new game
-14 years later, the US gets the same game
-by this point, Japan already has the third in the series
-some point in the distant future, mankind has taken to space travel
-Europe gets a tentative release date

As a gamer, this greatly frustrated me.

So, I made the decision to learn Japanese.

I started as any sensible person would: sushi, anime, and loudly singing "I'm turning Japanese."

I really think so.

Finally, after a great deal of work, I felt I was making good progress. I could actually understand some Japanese.

No longer would I have to wait for localization. No longer would I have to wait for someone to translate a game into english.

HAHA, Suckers!

And then, I get a memo.

Nice cover sheet on it, too.

Apparently, SE has decided that they are going to release future games simultaneously around the world.


/em is angry.

I realize this is "good" news.

No more waiting. Yay.

But what about all my hard work?

Imagine a guy who just finished years of work on developing and creating a new media format.

Now, imagine that format was the HD DVD.


At least I can do other things with my knowledge of Japanese.

I can help more players.


Does anyone know how to reformat a brain?



At 6:43 PM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...


Shut your heart down for someplace between 5 to 12 minutes. It will cause no immediate damage, but your brain will be formatted.

All this can be accomplished with a simple defibrillator.

At 6:51 PM, Blogger Xatticus said...

Everyone knows the language of MMO's is Korean

But still...if you've got a thing for Asians, Japan offers the hottest women...I suppose you could talk to the girl in her native tongue before she pleasures you

At 10:06 PM, Blogger User Error said...

Well, now you can torment the Japanese players a little more effectively.

To reformat the brain all that needs to be done is drink a lot of whiskey and add one hammer into the equation...

and possibly a trip to the Emergency Room.

At 10:50 PM, Blogger Ricardo said...

I wonder how smithy feels about this... hinthint

At 7:05 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

I know a good way for you to reformat your brain, Dave.

Work two straight shifts at your job. With a supervisor working next to you. A nosy one.

I daresay your brain will collapse shortly into the second shift.

At 7:57 AM, Blogger Rob said...

Did you atleast learn the swear words?

At 10:18 AM, Blogger Nick said...

Dave, I know how to fix this problem.

Okay, first, you gotta get booze. For several reasons. Mostly cause booze is good.

Then, you need to find every Japanese player on the server.

Next, you teach them how to speak FUCKING ENGLISH!

And, you finish it up with feeding them to a dragon, and booze.

Be subtle at first, though, or else it's racist!

And, should that fail, spend a day at home with your kid... after taking out all the baby food. Send Susan to a spa (read: Internet Cafe), and tell her that you'll "handle it."

You still can't sell it on eBay, Dave.

At 12:57 PM, Blogger Daemien said...

hehe, i learned japanese for a while, and all it's ever allowed me to do is cuss someone out in the language... same with german... why is it i'm only interested in words i can use for verbal abuse in other languages?


hey, this one's off-topic, but it kinda fits to ur post about ur blog writing itself. u might have heard about it... but i think one of your fellow final fantasy consumers (erhm, that is EMO DUMBASS) decided to play ostrich and bury his freakin head in the sand. and then died.

don't believe me?


good @#%$#^%$##%$ lord... how the...

and note the look of the pastor when they flip to him the first time... can you SEE he's trying not to laugh?

At 2:12 PM, Blogger Philip said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 2:15 PM, Blogger Philip said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 2:16 PM, Blogger Philip said...

You don't have to limit yourself to just games by SE. There's tons of (good/bad) Japanese-only games out there to play.

I wish I could understand even one of them.

Lucky you.

(Forgive me for cluttering your space.)

At 4:21 PM, Blogger Jadus said...

Well... ask the Japanese to come up with a Auto-translator? I can see it now:

English IRL: [Helldive]!

Japanese IRL: [English] - _ -;

At 8:25 PM, Blogger Eirke said...

On the plus side you can use it to mess with Susan.


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