Sunday, March 09, 2008

Balance Schmalance

We appreciate feedback.

We really do.

Indeed, we wait with bated breath for your suggestions on how we can make the game better.

Sometimes, it's good.

Except replace the word "sometimes" with the word "rarely".

My particular favorite is the many (many, many, MANY) suggestions we get on how to "balance" the job system.

Do you have any idea how difficult it is to create balance in a system that has 20 entirely different job classes?

They have different abilities.

With different roles.

One might even say they were DIFFERENT JOBS.

Suppose your house was on fire.

No, it's not really on fire. Sit back down.

It's a metaphor, stupid.

So, your house is on fire.

A firefighter shows up.

A police officer.

Maybe a paramedic.

And then a shoe salesman.


A shoe salesman.

Now, a shoe salesman might not be as helpful in this type of situation.

BurnVictim>> Someone help me!
BurnVictim>> I'm hurt!
ShoeSalesman>> You know what you need?
ShoeSalesman>> Sneakers.

But he shows up anyway.

And then starts complaining that he's not as helpful as the other people there.

ShoeSalesman>> This is so unfair.
ShoeSalesman>> Damned firefighters with the...
ShoeSalesman>> Saving people...
ShoeSalesman>> From fire...

He starts going on all the fire-fighting related forums.

Post Title: Fire fighting unbalanced

y is it every time there's a fire, everyone invites the firemen? they should totally nerf firefighters.

Then he starts calling up the fire department.

ShoeSalesman>> I have some good ideas on how to balance the fire fighting system.
ShoeSalesman>> They should adjust the strength of the fire.
ShoeSalesman>> Or maybe make the fire weak to... shoes.
FireChief>> Have you lost your mind?
ShoeSalesman>> That totally wouldn't make shoe salesmen overpowered.
ShoeSalesman>> We'd just be a viable job class.
FireChief>> I'm going to hang up now.

There are situations where a shoe salesman would be helpful.

You need a new pair of nikes? Helpful.

You need a nice pair of high heels? Helpful.

You need someone to keep you from burning to death? Not so much.

But the shoe salesman still expects you to completely revamp the entire system to make them more "balanced".

Here is how I might respond to the aforementioned shoe salesman:


If you want to fight fires, BECOME A FIREMAN!

I hate people.

Tomorrow, I'm going to go kick a shoe salesman in the balls.


And when he asks for medical help, I'm calling a dry cleaner.

Let's see how he feels about balance then.


At 5:45 PM, Blogger Grenade71822 said...

You forgot about he people who are screaming about something completely different like nerf the the police guns so they are less effective against the water.
(Sidenote) I thought i saw Balance Scholomance as the title.

At 7:10 PM, Blogger Gsarivan said...

lol so true...

At 1:34 AM, Blogger Jaszon said...

ShoeSalesman>> Or maybe make the fire weak to... shoes.

almost made me total my laptop with diet coke.

great post dave.

but what they should do is allow shoes to hold water and then make a water-shoe-bucket chain to dose the fair!

At 6:50 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

But what if a firefighter forgets his boots when he heads to the fire? You TOTALLY need a shoe salesman for that kind of situation! It's common sense, people!

At 8:21 AM, Blogger Rob said...

I immediately thought of four people I know who should read this post.
Good post, [GM]Dave.

At 9:50 AM, Blogger MinorAgentofChaos said...

only four people, Rob?

Hell, I'm gonna post the link to this entry to every MMPORG board I know...specifically all the threads that whine about "class balance".

Ye gods, people, they call them "healers", not "battle tanks". Yeesh.

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Rob said...

Heh, four that popped up immediately. I've thought of a few more.
And that's a good idea, I'm going to link this on my LS site and spread the joy/love/pearly-gems-of-wisdom contained herein.

At 12:42 PM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...

i hate shoe shopping.

i hate PUPs in my parties.

maybe there's a link here somewhere..

At 3:26 PM, Blogger Brian said...


So we got a firefighter,a police officer,a paramedic,and a shoe salesman.

Firefighter: Good at putting out fires
Police Officer: Good at apprehending the dragon that started said fire
Paramedic: Good at healing people burned by fire

Shoesalesman: Depressive observer...

Great example! However, the flip of the coin is what is the Shoe Salesman good at! Selling shoes?
But let's face it - in the "real world" anyone could sell shoes. The only reason someone is a shoe salesman is because they can't put out fires, arrest people, or heal people. Of course a job like this wouldn't exist in the game. That's just crazy design... Unless maybe the shoe person is the only one that can sell epic shoes. . .

At 9:03 PM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

I love shoes! Funny post too. I have different priorities than balance but I also tend to be in the minority so I spare everyone from having to listen to me about it excluding my linkshell. I like to think they find my variety of crazy charming. Dang it I'm starting to ramble again. I'm going to bed. Stupid FFXI not letting me get on to update today. Me first! Me me me! Ok done now. Thanks for giggles Dave! You're my favorite.

At 1:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At 9:09 PM, Blogger Rilgon Arcsinh said...

You would have a quasi-valid point if a lot of balancing arguments were made between classes with vastly different roles.

There's no reason for a Hunter, a pure DPS class, to have as many issues in the Arena as it has, especially when other pure DPS classes don't have hardly as many. :) It's like different fire-fighter brigades coming to a fire, and one of them is forbidden to use the fire hydrants near the fire - they have to go use one two miles away.

At 12:21 PM, Blogger Павел said...

Suppose your house was on fire.
And you're a shoe salesman.
So, your house is on fire.

A firefighter shows up.
A police officer.
Maybe a paramedic.

And all that you have in your hands against them is a pair of sneakers.
And you need to make them go away.


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