Sunday, March 16, 2008

[GM]Dave Is Not Social

Perhaps I am not making something clear.

I know that many of you think that I am a very nice person.

To the untrained eye, I may appear cuddly and warm. Not unlike a teddy bear.

This, however, is misleading.

I am not a friendly person.

I am not cuddly.

A psychiatrist might attribute this to social anxiety.

I attribute it to that fact that the majority of people I meet being are retarded.

Some people go out of their way to be social.

They throw parties.

They're nice to people.

They don't feed people to dragons.

That's not me.

I actually go out of my way to be UNsocial.

I don't use MSN.


I do not facebook.

Or use any of the other bajillion social networking sites out there.

Why would I do that?

Hey! I don't like anybody, but let's sign up to let people bother me on a 24 hour basis!

That's a great idea!

After that we can go do some shots!

Of Drano!


Now, why am I writing this?

Well, among the many e-mails (and e-fails) I get each day is a frightening number of invites to join someone's "network".

Don't get me wrong. I don't mind this.

I actually appreciate that you want to be my friend.

Unfortunately, you are a people.

And I don't like people.

I don't want to sit down and check your facebook status.

I don't want to see your photo album of your sister's wedding.

I don't want to know that you joined Fans of WHAM.

I just don't.

Don't be offended if I do not accept your request.

Or go ahead and start a facebook group about how offended you are.

It's not like I'll know.

We're friends. Good friends.

We're just good friends who don't interact with each other in any way, shape, or form.

That's the kind of friend I can deal with.


At 7:25 PM, Blogger flatluigi said...

You're going to wear out the enter key with more entries like this.

At 7:27 PM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

less blather, more dragon feeding!!!

We haven't had a good dragon feeding story in months...

If no dragon feeding, the you can fucking go to hell... At least Yatzee still hates everything and does what we go there to see/read.

At 8:32 PM, Blogger Laserx said...

I know how you feel Dave... I get constant crap about "Why don't you have friends over?" or "Can't you be a little more social?" My answer to all those questions it "No. If there is one thing I have learned over my years on this planet it is that the majority of the world is too retarded for me to possibly handle... the internet confirms this thought quite well and, as we all know, the majority of people I will come in contact with have the internet."

At 8:39 PM, Blogger Jeff said...

This isn't a service to you, you don't pay to read these blogs, [GM]Dave is entitled to rant/vent/make fun of whatever the fuck he wants to, this is HIS blog after all...

At 9:02 PM, Blogger lahosken said...

Have you considered joining isolatr?

At 9:26 PM, Blogger Alison the Amazing Thief said...

Aw does [GM]Dave need a hug? You totally do. I'm not offering even if I didnt have to go out of my way to do it I'm just saying... Na, just kidding. I love your prickliness.

At 10:26 PM, Blogger Robert said...

"I don't want to sit down and check your facebook status."

Word. I can't even begin to tell you how many people try to get me to set up a facebook/myspace/someotherbs account. Why would I want to do that when I have an entire web server at my disposal?

At 10:38 PM, Blogger Dyamalos said...

My friends conned me into a facebook account.

The only thing I ever do on it is when I get an e-mail about a message a friend sent me.

So basically they are sending me e-mails... With a middle-man...

I guess you could attribute that I post things on it from my blog... but then again, it auto does that and I barely remember setting it up to do that... Not that I update my blog all that often ether...

At 11:59 PM, Blogger Chris said...

How about starting a service that, when people sign up, it mails them ticking packages? You would have so many friends who would NEVER pester you.

And it would make for interesting news.

At 3:17 AM, Blogger The Illuminaughty said...

Heh, my education forced me to make a facebook/myspace page.

But we do interact, Dave. You blog for us, and we comment either on how awesome you are, or (in the "special" cases) that you're not as awesome as you used to be.

At 6:40 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

True, we interact with Dave here, but it's only one site, and he chooses when he interacts with us. No friend surprise messaging him with AIM or something when he's busy doing something else.

I had AIM a while back. Then my computer had to be reformatted. Something about it being a 3-year old piece of crap. I go to reinstall it, and suddenly ask myself "Why am I reinstalling this?" I only ever talked to one guy. The rest either sat there, not messaging me, or turned out to be people I don't like anymore. So I don't have AIM anymore, and all is well.

At 9:45 AM, Blogger Turinbar said...

Hell yeah.

At 10:05 AM, Blogger Miguel R. said...

Rofl @ "e-fails". I'm going to start using that.

At 6:42 PM, Blogger Laserx said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 6:44 PM, Blogger Laserx said...

Put this into your URL. I think it sums up [GM]Dave's (and my own) banning obsession. ^^ I just love it ^^

At 5:04 AM, Blogger Terrorize said...

Finally caught up with all your posts Dave, you make my days at work bearable Thank you. Keep it up ^^

Btw is Smithy ever coming back? :o

At 6:46 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

Laserx said...

Put this into your URL. I think it sums up [GM]Dave's (and my own) banning obsession. ^^ I just love it ^^

I saw that image some time ago, and it's still funny. And yes, it works perfectly with our good GM here.

At 5:20 PM, Blogger semele said...

Lemme just grab my DSM (the therapist's bible) and see what we get with the Wheel of Diagnosis. Nope, not social anxiety. You're not made nervous by people - maybe nervous by the sheer stupidity that breeds in society, but not by people in general. Instead the wheel lands on [tick tick ticka ticka tick] antisocial personality disorder. Which, honestly you don't have a true case of either, but if you want to claim a disorder (hey, its fun to have a billable code, right?) that one's closer.


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