Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Learn To READ!!!

Listen carefully.

Just because something sucks does not mean that it is somehow my job to fix it.

Bad things happen. It's life.

But you need to deal with that shit.

People who bitch and whine about the bad things that happen to them is one of the things that annoy me alot.

One of the things that annoy me the most, though, is the pathetic, emo bitches that complain about bad things that WERE THEIR OWN FAULT!

So many times, so very many times, I get calls from people who tell me to fix something they did wrong. Some monumentally retarded thing that is somehow my problem.

When did people stop taking responsibility for their own mistakes and bad decisions?

It's not my fault you did something stupid.

It really isn't.

So, you calling me up and asking me to fix a mess you made really doesn't get me going.

My personal "favorite" is the morons who call me up because they sold something they didn't mean to.

I mean, what am I supposed to do about that?

Yeah, yeah. You sold your Sword of Infinite Smithing +1 for 10 gil.

My heart bleeds.

The beautiful thing about this game is that any sort of interaction, from trading to bazaaring to setting items for sale at the AH, is all controlled BY THE PLAYER.

That means that if a mistake happens, it's your own damn fault.

And since it was your own damn fault, it's also your own damn problem.

But no. I have to deal with moron after moron who screwed up and now needs somebody to fix it for them.

Do I seem like a "Fix It" kind of guy to you?

Just this morning, another one of these whiny punks sends me a GM call.

GM Call Description: Lost Kirin's Osode. Please help!


Just because I had to hear how this idiot messed up, I decided to answer his call.

I'm going for employee of the month.

[GM]Dave>> Hail, Adventurer.
[GM]Dave>> Apparently, you have misplaced your clothes.
[GM]Dave>> How embarassing.
Player>> No, no.
Player>> Someone took my Osode.
[GM]Dave>> They took your Osode?
Player>> Yeah.
Player>> And I want it back.


Same old story. Player gives item to friend, friend keeps item, player gets dicked over.

If I had human emotions, I might even care.

[GM]Dave>> So you traded them your Osode...
[GM]Dave>> And they kept it.
[GM]Dave>> Congratulations! You just got screwed!
Player>> I didn't trade it to him.
[GM]Dave>> You didn't?
Player>> No.

Hold on a second...

Is it possible that someone might have actually lost an item that wasn't their own fault?

[GM]Dave>> Then how did they take the Osode?
Player>> They bought it from my bazaar.

So, no then.

[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> They bought it?
Player>> Yeah, but I had it priced wrong.
Player>> 5 mil instead of 50.
[GM]Dave>> Didn't you read the price?
Player>> I was in a rush.
[GM]Dave>> And this person bought it?
Player>> ... Yeah.
[GM]Dave>> Bought it?
Player>> Yes.
[GM]Dave>> Bought.
Player>> Why do you keep saying that?
[GM]Dave>> i'm hoping if I type it enough...
[GM]Dave>> You might realize how stupid you are.
Player>> What?!
[GM]Dave>> Someone bought something you had for sale.
[GM]Dave>> That's not a crime.
[GM]Dave>> It's... oh, I don't know...
Player>> But I had the price wrong.
[GM]Dave>> Yay!
[GM]Dave>> You're naked AND retarded!
Player>> You can't talk to me like that.
Player>> Now, get my Osode back.
[GM]Dave>> Hmmm...
[GM]Dave>> First, I'm going to need the 5 million gil.
Player>> Oh.
Player>> Sure. Take it.

Press a few keys.

[GM]Dave>> Okay. 5 million gil.
[GM]Dave>> Done.
Player>> ...
Player>> What about my Osode?
[GM]Dave>> What about it?
Player>> Aren't you going to get it back?
[GM]Dave>> Umm... Let's see...
[GM]Dave>> No.
Player>> But you took the 5 mil to get it back.
[GM]Dave>> I don't remember saying anything about the Osode.
Player>> Then why did you take the money?
[GM]Dave>> Moron tax.
[GM]Dave>> Oh, stop bitching.
[GM]Dave>> It's not like you even need the Osode.
Player>> I'm a BARD!!!
[GM]Dave>> ...
[GM]Dave>> Sucks to be you.
Player>> This is ridiculous!
[GM]Dave>> You think so, too?
Player>> I want to file a complaint!

Oh, how I've missed that.

[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to our complaints manager.
[GM]Dave>> If you'd like.
Player>> Yes. Right now.


Player>> What's going on?
[GM]Dave>> I'll give you three guesses.
Player>> I'm getting suspended?!

Jormungand hits Player for 16, 941 points of damage.
Player was defeated by Jormungand.
Player falls to level 74.

[GM]Dave>> Two guesses left.

Listen, guys.

It's your responsibility to read the warnings we put there for you.

We did our job. You do yours.

And if you screw up? Take it like an adult, learn from it, and thank whatever god you believe in that you haven't been ingested by a dragon.


At 8:45 PM, Blogger Penguinman said...


At 8:56 PM, Blogger Obitusx said...

I started reading this and thought it was going to be something you already did with a slight twist. Soon it turned into a very nice addition to that which is the book of [GM]Dave.

Player>> But you took the 5 mil to get it back.
[GM]Dave>> I don't remember saying anything about the Osode.
Player>> Then why did you take the money?
[GM]Dave>> Moron tax.


At 9:00 PM, Blogger Kaiten said...

Oh so true, why can't people just see their mistake as what it is their own stupid mistake. Move on, next time look before you confirm. No sympathy from me for making that kind of error. And then complaining about it.

Death do you need it? No? Too bad you get it anyway.

At 9:36 PM, Blogger IfritsNuts said...

I had a friend who once bought a 400k item for the 4Million he had been saving for months... He was so pissed off he quit the game. It sucks when that happens but you just gotta be more careful i guess.

At 10:07 PM, Blogger Dreamer ~ said...

These entries are getting boring.

At 10:54 PM, Blogger Avrial said...

Shut up, Dreamer. Saying ignorant things like that is what gets people fed to dragons, among other phrases, such as "Yes, I would like to see your complaints manager" or "You are so dead" or "OHCHRISTNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!1111111ONEONEONEONE".

I personally liked this blog. I'm glad I'm not that guy (I don't put up a Bazaar, anyway.)

At 10:59 PM, Blogger DeaconBlue said...

[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to our complaints manager.
[GM]Dave>> If you'd like.
Player>> Yes. Right now.


Player>> What's going on?
[GM]Dave>> I'll give you three guesses.


At 11:48 PM, Blogger Nayathril said...

This reminded me of when I accidentelly Dropped my Gluttony Sword >.< Stupid Land Crab meat..

At 11:54 PM, Blogger OridiumBlade said...

Do I seem like a "Fit It" kind of guy to you?

[GM]Dave seems like quite the "Fit It" sort of fellow, yes, indeed.

At 12:30 AM, Blogger Lishje said...

"Listen, guys.

It's your responsibility to read the warnings we put there for you.

We did our job. You do yours."

Yes, please.

Seriusly I have seen people shout in Jeuno about such things.

"Like oh noes, someone bought my Kraken Club for 99,999,999g"

than they just go out spouting about thier own stupidity, because the thing is "worth" 200m....

so yeah, I say you're dead on with that statement, it's thier own damn fault.

At 12:41 AM, Blogger Hawklord2112 said...

i hate seeing folks with bazaars and all the items set to 99,999,999 or whatever. just to show off that they have these items.

they clog up jeuno.

couldnt you just go round either
a) as [GM] buying all their upber items, noticing that they have a hojillion gil, then ban them for being gilbuyers

b) as [GM] override their prices to 9 gil per item?

At 12:55 AM, Blogger Artos said...

I once bought a Haubergeon for 500,000g vice 5,000,000g.


At 1:56 AM, Blogger mosca do ecrâ said...

:) yay back to the classics

At 2:00 AM, Blogger Mint said...

God if there was a Moron Tax I would've gone broke when I started playing. This is honest to god truth: I placed a GM call because my Leaping Boots went "missing". I'd searched all my mules and my main and just couldnt find them. Turned out I had sent them to a mule but never removed them from delivery box. I was pretty new and poor so I was just panic stricken at the thought of losing them lmao. Good times.

At 2:39 AM, Blogger Ristle said...

Where was the *GLEE*? Dont you enjoy it as much anymore?You need that GLEE back, tell Susan I told her to put the GLEE back into you...or Vice Versa...

I took great enjoyment a while ago to see 2 players selling, I think it was the Ochiudo's Kotes, between eachother consistantly trying to raise the price by filling the logs, and someone bought it off them for 1g between swap XD I haven't laughed so hard in ages. Damn near cried.

At 4:48 AM, Blogger CaesarsGhost said...

Ok, we've all done something stupid like that before, even if it wasn't in FFXI.

Was I pissed? Sure.

Did I scream and cus? Yup!

Did I call the GM or Dev I knew to fix it? Nope... why?
Cause it was my fault that I hit accept. That button is there for a reason...

Same thing with Trade windows. If you have something sitting in a trade window so somebody can "See" said item... don't hit accept. Fucktards.

At 8:01 AM, Blogger Bellemithra said...


At 9:08 AM, Blogger creature124 said...

Ah, the good old traditional Jorgy feedings. How ive missed them.

At 10:55 AM, Blogger Texgnome1 said...

[GM]Juan and Susan the Great were fun, but it's nice to see Jormy's return. Welcome back dragon feedings!

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Advent said...

Jourmy must have lost a lot of weight! No mass feeding recently, great post as usual though!

At 12:40 PM, Blogger Havok said...

wow some people are so bad i didnt think the world of vanadeil was as retarded as the real world. isnt there a reason that they let you put up your items in the bazaar for 99,999,999. haha maybe oneday i will be smited by a dragon lol

At 12:42 PM, Blogger Havok said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 4:33 PM, Blogger stormx said...

One word...Tard!

At 7:39 PM, Blogger Zychion said...

Damn it's nice to have good funny posts back. I loved it.

At 5:08 AM, Blogger scout said...

[GM]Dave>> I can transfer you to our complaints manager.

Don't players get suspicious when a GM says this nowadays? - I would even though I'm not even playing FFXI.


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