[GM]Dave: The College Years 5
Some people think that football is the most popular college sport. Despite each university having a basketball team and countless other teams, it is really football that defines college sports.
They think that because they've never heard of beer pong.
Beer pong makes football look like an afternoon spent with your grandmother.
Yeah, you can get messed up playing football. But after you get messed up, you don't wake up naked in the middle of the quad covered in sharpie.
The rules are simple. Each player begins with a number of glasses of beer and tries to bounce a ping pong ball into his opponent's glasses. If he/she is successful, the opponent has to drink that glass.
Warning: Remove ping pong ball prior to drinking to avoid choking and looking like a gigantic tool.
The game continues until:
a) you or your opponent runs out of glasses
b) you die of alcohol poisoning
Happens more often than you think.
One day, Jeff and I decided to improve on Beer Pong.
Attempt #1: Vodka Pong
This one wasn't actually that bad. We had to put less in each glass because we didn't feel like killing ourselves, but it did add a new challenge to the game.
That challenge being standing up.
Attempt #2: Spicy Vodka Pong
Take all of the challenge of Vodka Pong and add a truly painful amount of heat to the mix. Appended rules stated that neither player was allowed to drink an alternate beverage until the game was over.
It actually felt like I was getting throat banged by the Balrog.
Note to self: Contact Peter Jackson, Re: Sequel
Attempt #3: Blended McDonald's Dollar Menu Pong
I have no idea which one of us came up with this idea, but I can tell you that that person is retarded.
Somehow, after half a dozen rounds of Vodka and Spicy Vodka Pong, pureeing the entire McDonald's dollar menu seemed like the logical progression. Just dump it in a blender, hit frappe, and it's Blended deliciousness pong.
It was neither:
Sure, it was really funny watching the other guy trying to chug glass after glass of blended heart attacks, but then you remembered you'd be drinking it too.
Not so funny any more.
Attempt #4: Tequila Pong
In retrospect, this might not have been AS bad an idea.
It might not have been AS bad IF we had played it first. Deciding to ingest large amounts of Tequila AFTER vodka, spicy vodka, and blended McDonald's...
It was like throwing up lava. Gallons and gallons of vodka/nugget flavored lava.
And the pickles... Oh Dear GOD, the pickles.
I don't even think any of the McDonald's food had pickles.
After that... Well, we decided Beer Pong was just fine as it was. Why mess with a perfectly good game?
If only we had decided that BEFORE the tequila...
We might have gotten our security deposit back.