I Hate UpdatesSo, that time has rolled around once again.
This is a magical time in Vana'diel when the devs get together and discuss what changes would be most important to improve the game for everyone.
This is a good thing.
They take time to carefully consider and decide what adjustments could be made to improve the game as a whole.
That's why it's called an update.
Up suggests progress.
It's not called a sidedate.
Or a lateraldate.
I don't know. I really didn't think that part through before I started writing.
Those sounded a lot funnier in my head.
Then again, most things do.
Here's the funny thing about updates: no matter what the devs do, people still don't like the updates.
Isn't that strange? Someone who has an intimate knowledge of the finer mechanics of the game is working incredibly hard to make the game better for everyone and yet, people don't appreciate it.
It's not like they all got drunk and threw darts at a board or something.
Dev1>> Oh shit, yo...
I should point out that I'm translating this perfectly from the Japanese.
Dev1>> You all hit the "give Scholar some stuff".
Dev2>> That be like the third time, yo.
Dev2>> Fo' real.
Dev1>> Awwwww SNAP!
Dev1>> I just nailed the "adjust various NMS".
Dev2>> Oh, man.
Dev2>> They be hatin' that shit.
Seriously. Perfect Japanese translation going on here.
They'd probably also throw up various gang signs and then pour a 40 oz of Sake on the curb.
No, the devs are actually pretty nice guys. They're trying really hard to make you guys happy.
Do you know why people don't like the updates?
Oh, go on. Try and guess.
If you guessed because the devs don't understand the FFXI community, you are incorrect.
Thanks for playing. We have some lovely parting gifts for you.
Note: There are no lovely parting gifts. Or parting gifts in general.
They understand the FFXI community very well. Probably better than anyone else on the planet.
This is quite literally their life's work.
They take this shit very seriously.
No, the real reason people hate the updates is because they didn't get what THEY want.
See, updates have to be performed in small increments in order to maintain proper game balance. Every change, no matter how small, could have huge repercussions.
Remember the two hand update when some guy put the wrong decimal in an equation?
We make small changes over time so that we can understand the effect each will have on the game as a whole.
This, unfortunately, means that each update only includes small changes for a small number of jobs.
Thus, the majority of the population do not get anything for their specific job.
Oh, oh. It doesn't matter that you got a huge buff in the last round of updates.
That was last week.
Everybody thinks update is freakin' Christmas time.
... Okay, so technically THIS update is very close chronilogically to Christmas.
That still doesn't mean we're going to craft the update specifically for you.
Oh, you lost your main source of income because of a game adjustment.
Or you didn't get any shiny new toys or awesome new abilities.
I understand that that sucks.
I totally get that.
Not our problem.
We're doing our best to make the game better for everyone. That means the whole group.
You didn't get your's today. Maybe you'll get it next time.
But maybe it's for a greater good.
There's an old saying: "You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all the people all of the time."
We're trying to please all of the people by pleasing some of the people with each update.
Don't worry. You'll be part of the some people some time.
Just trust that it's all for a bigger picture and not some conspiracy to benefit specific jobs.
On an unrelated note, tomorrow's post will be titled "[GM]Dave Started Leveling Scholar Last Week."