Mommy DearestShortly before Susan and I were to be married, I decided it might be a good time to talk to my mother.
We hadn't spoken much since the last time I banned her.
I'd say we haven't spoken at all, but there was that time she called me at 3 am and swore for an hour straight.
It would have been disturbing hearing my mother swear like that had I not been so impressed by her extensive vocabulary.
Still, with our wedding looming on the horizon, it seemed like the only course of action.
Also, Susan said it would be neither appropriate or cost effective to hire an actress to play my mother for the wedding.
Given her lack of access to FFXI (and the high likelihood for physical violence if we met in person), I opted to use an instant messenger.
[GM]Dave>> You there?
Mom>> I'm sorry. You must have the wrong person.
Mom>> I have no children.
[GM]Dave>> Mom, knock that off.
[GM]Dave>> This is serious.
Mom>> Nope. No moms around here.
Mom>> No, sir.
[GM]Dave>> How long do we have to do this?
Mom>> I don't know.
Mom>> Maybe you should go ask your mother.
[GM]Dave>> I'm willing to make a deal with you.
[GM]Dave>> All you have to do is listen.
[GM]Dave>> And I'll reopen your account.
Mom>> I don't need your stupid game anymore.
I wasn't expecting that.
She must have found some mature way of overcoming her obsession.
Mom>> I play WoW now.
So no then.
Mom>> Sorry, buddy.
Mom>> I'm quite happy where I am.
Mom>> You have no influence on me anymore.
I have to say that I was pretty proud of her. It takes a lot of will power to just walk away from a game like this.
Of course, getting banned from the game probably helped.
As a good son, I of course realized I should support her decision.
[GM]Dave>> You know you miss it.
What about these stories has ever suggested I'm a good son?
I've banned my mother like 7 times.
I don't think I have to worry about winning the Son of the Year award.
Mom>> No, I don't.
Mom>> I'm a level 60 Rogue.
[GM]Dave>> That's great.
[GM]Dave>> What'd that take? Two days?
Mom>> That's a major accomplishment.
[GM]Dave>> I heard they give you level 4 just for logging in properly.
Mom>> This has been a great chat. Really.
Mom>> Could you go die in a fire?
[GM]Dave>> Mom, I'm getting married.
[GM]Dave>> Well, when two people love each other...
Mom>> I know what married means, smart ass.
Mom>> It's just...
Mom>> I always thought...
[GM]Dave>> You thought what, mom?
[GM]Dave>> That I was always going to be your little boy?
[GM]Dave>> That I'd never settle down and get married?
Mom>> I always thought Susan would be smarter than that.
You'd be surprised at how affordable it can be to hire an actress.