Monday, April 14, 2008

Completely Random

Have you seen the trailer for this new movie 88 Minutes?

It looks like it's the usual "someone's out to kill someone else and they need to figure it out blah blah blah" plot.

That's not a big deal. I'm getting used to Hollywood reusing tired storylines.

And yet, this movie pisses me off immensely. I haven't even seen the damned thing and already I want to smack the people who made it.


88 Minutes. That's why.

Why 88 minutes?

Did they run out of film?

I can't even conceive of a plot that would specifically require a time limit of 88 minutes.

What kind of person would devise an incredibly complicated scheme to kill another person and then assign a random time to it?

Do evil masterminds dislike rounding to the nearest 5?

You never know. Maybe there's a perfectly good explanation.

GoodGuy>> Hello?
BadGuy>> You have 88 minutes to live.
BadGuy>> I called you two minutes ago, but you didn't answer.
BadGuy>> Sorry.
BadGuy>> I left a voicemail, but you can disregard it at this point.
BadGuy>> I tried calling back a minute later, but I couldn't get a signal.
BadGuy>> Then I called again and got a wrong number.
BadGuy>> Unfortunately, this leaves you with only 88 minutes to live.
BadGuy>> Crap... 87...
GoodGuy>> Do you want to start over?
BadGuy>> Could we?
BadGuy>> I didn't think this through completely.
GoodGuy>> Maybe you could call me back and just say 90.
BadGuy>> I guess...
BadGuy>> Man, this is harder than I thought.

Maybe some of his nefarious plan revolves around some events with very strict time limitations.

Honestly, though, that just sounds like poor planning.

This really pisses me off for two reasons:

1) someone somewhere thought that making it 88 minutes instead of 90 helped the story

2) I realized that I have way too much time on my hands if this bothers me so much

I know it's not that big a deal.

But every time that commercial comes on, I want to fly to Hollywood just to slap someone.

No one in particular. Just the first person I run into.

If I'm in Hollywood, there's a pretty good chance whoever I slap will deserve it.

I need a hobby.


At 12:36 AM, Blogger Siegtaru said...

I thought the exact same thing about that. Bugged the hell out of me. xD

Woohoo first comment. ;3

At 5:02 AM, Blogger Lordshadow said...

But Dave, you have a hobby. Feeding idiots to dragons is a great hoby

At 3:10 PM, Blogger Laserx said...

You know, that kind of reminds me, I went to see Prom Night the other day... predicted everything that was about to happen. Funny part is, half of the predictions I made were before I saw the movie during the commercials. THAT goes to show you how much Hollywood reuses it's scripts.

Guy1>> Hey, I just made a film about some lady that gets killed by some psycho... but I want to make up another movie, but I can't think of anything else.
Guy2>> Can I see the script to the first movie?
Guy1>> Sure.
*5 minutes later*
Guy2>> Here is your new movie!
Guy1>> What's the difference?
Guy2>> Well, instead of being on vacation, the girl is now going to prom.
Guy1>> I love it!

At 7:31 AM, Blogger MinorAgentofChaos said...

According to the review in today's paper, 88 Minutes runs 108 minutes. :-P

Never believe what Hollywood claims. Ever.

At 6:25 AM, Blogger Hatsumi said...


Its called 88 minutes because thats how long it took a murderer to hack up the main characters little sister, and the guy that wants to kill the main guy is using that to piss him off. The film sucks.

His student did it. kthxbai

At 6:41 AM, Blogger Hatsumi said...

above comment was kinda pointless just felt like spoiling it for sucks


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