Oh, How Fickle...My memory isn't the greatest.
I don't remember names.
I barely remember faces.
Sometimes, I'll walk into a room and then forget what the hell it was I came in there for in the first place.
It's very disconcerting.
Though... I do get to meet new people everyday.
Despite this terrible lack of memory, I do seem to remember the epic failure that was the Phantom console.
Some of you may not have heard of the Phantom gaming console.
A few years ago, a company announced that they would be developing a PC-like gaming console that hooked up to your TV and streamed data across the intarweb.
This is the part where the entire internet started laughing.
Honestly, the whole thing was a galactic, mechagundam clusterf&%@. Every week brought about new hilarity as their once glorious vision was torn asunder by the internet as a whole.
It was like a terrible joke.
Thus, you can understand my confusion when a new streaming gaming console is announced and the whole internet welcomes it with open arms.
We don't welcome anything with open arms.
Okay... Maybe the porn thing.
We are very supportive of the porn.
Of course, without the porn, the internet would include maybe 4 websites.
OnLive is the new console tearing up the gaming media sites. All data will be sent to a secure OnLive server and then results will be streamed back to your screen in real time.
Apparently, the console will work on a variety of devices and all data management will be handled through their servers.
The servers will be composed of Adamantium and will be comprised mostly of dilithium crystals and flux capacitors.
That last part wasn't true. It might be, but at this point, all we really have is a whole lot of promises and not a lot of evidence.
Now, I've got nothing against the console. While I have a great deal of skepticism about how exactly they're going to make this system work, that's not really something I'm worried about.
I don't know how most things work.
Sure, I know my Wii is just two Gamecubes duct-taped together.
And my microwave uses dark arcane magicks.
But I don't really question the whole "how's it gonna work" thing.
Not my problem.
In six months when this epic new console is only able to stream flash games, then we'll talk about it.
No, my issue with the whole thing is how readily the gaming community is ready to just accept this thing.
Yes, it is very shiny. They're using intriguing words like "server-side", "broadband", and "Microconsole". They're promising, and I quote, "ultra high-performance gameplay on your TV or entry-level PC or Mac".
This sounds great, right?
Of course it does.
But since when does the internet take anything at face value or anyone at their word?
What happened to you guys?
Just a couple of years ago, you'd have called these guys a bunch of con artist bastards and then burned them at the stake.
That's actually what happened to the Phantom guys.
There were marshmallows.
Now, it looks like we've all gone soft.
Where's the harsh criticism? The barely restrained rage?
The harshly worded LOLcats pictures?
I'm actually a little ashamed right now. I have half a mind to turn off my computer and go drink some beer and play football.
That's the one with the bat, right?
Maybe... Maybe we've grown a little as a community. Maybe we've matured and are looking for a meaningful streaming experience.
Are we finally ready to give someone a chance?
This is the honeymoon phase. We're still a little dazzled with the promise of new technology and the hopes for better gaming.
That shine won't last long. Pretty soon, we're going to be tearing this thing to shreds and leaving them broken and bloodied.
Oh, there will be blood.
Don't let me down, internets. Restore my faith not in your humanity, but in your unending torrent of hate and destruction.
That's why you are my people.
That's why the internet is my home.
... The porn doesn't hurt.