The Good Old DaysI'm sorry, but does anyone else miss the days before the world went F&%@ING insane?
The 90's wasn't the best decade. It gave birth to the boy band craze, Melrose Place, and a million other things I'm sure we'd all love to collectively forget.
MC Hammer, I'm looking at you.
But, looking back, I can honestly say the world was a lot less screwed up.
Today, I half cringe whenever I turn on the news because I know something absolutely retarded has happened.
How do I know that?
Because something retarded happens every day now.
And I don't mean the funny retarded stuff. That stuff is great.
I mean the plain old "make you wish you were dead" retarded.
Not that long ago, everything was about excess. Going crazy, spending money, burning gas, and eating whatever the hell you wanted.
Everything had bacon on it.
Some mornings, I'd get up and put bacon on my Frosted Flakes.
And nobody said shit about it.
The entire world was like it.
It was beautiful.
You didn't have to even think about other people. The entire world was focused on making you happy.
Screw the environment, screw the starving kids, screw everything.
What was in it for me?
It was a great time to be alive.
Now, you might be thinking that this sounds like a very shallow, selfish way to live.
You'd be damned friggin' right, too.
It was shallow.
It was selfish.
And it was GLORIOUS.
Unfortunately, we seem to have lost our way somewhere along the line. Suddenly, everyone cares about EVERYTHING.
Where did we go wrong?
Yeah, yeah. Caring is great.
Get an after-school special or something.
Being socially conscious is not all it's cracked up to be.
Now, we all get up every morning just waiting for the day when it all falls apart.
You know you do.
You get out of bed and part of you is afraid to turn on the TV because you know any day the whole place is going up in flames.
It wasn't always like this.
No, back in the good old days, you hopped out of bed, jumped in your 3 miles to the gallon Hummer, and went to McDonald's for the heart attack breakfast special served on a styrofoam plate.
Toss that shit in the nearest protected wetlands and you were good to go.
And we didn't worry about anything.
Gas was cheap, credit was easy, and everything was about me, me, me.
I miss that.
I miss living in a world where everything made sense.
Terrible sense, I'll give you, but sense all the same.
I miss a time when the world was all about me.
That probably sounds selfish.