Monday, September 29, 2008

F&$@ You, Mega Man

I'd like to thank everyone who sent me a message for my birthday. It helped make a good day even better.

I spent the morning sleeping in. The parents in the crowd know what a big deal this is on a Sunday morning and, believe me, it was well appreciated.

Susan then made a huge Chinese food buffet topped off with homemade chocolate cake.

I love that woman.

Then, as part of my gift, she got me a Wii points card.


As soon as I could, I went on and downloaded Mega Man 9.


F&$@ You, Mega Man.

F&$@ You and your stupid dog.

What the hell is wrong with the people who made this game?

Apparently, the guys who designed Pandemonium Warden must sideline over at Capcom or something.

This game is just plain cruel.

I'm an old school gamer. I grew up on the Atari. I got a NES system on the NA launch.

I know some hard games.

Hard games don't bother me.

This shit is just plain wrong.

It's like I spent ten dollars to have someone kick me in the face repeatedly.

Sure, I know there are people who actually pay people to LITERALLY kick them in the face.

I'm not that guy.

Now, don't get me wrong. I think Mega Man 9 is an important step in the right direction for games.

We need games that are about more than shiny graphics.

We need old school games for new school gamers.

This is a great game in that respect.

This is also a great game if you don't like yourself much and wonder what it would feel like to be absolutely retarded.

Why is this game so freakin' hard?

Disappearing blocks? Really?

What the F&$@?

I don't know if this game is supposed to incredibly challenging or if someone at Capcom just F&$@ing hates everyone.

I'm leaning towards the latter.

I hear for Mega Man 10, they take 1000 wii points and then just come to your house and kick you in the junk.

At least it would save me some time.

Capcom>> Hello.
Dave>> Hey.
Dave>> How you doing?
Capcom>> Good. Good.
Capcom>> Did you download Mega Man 10?
Dave>> I think so...
Dave>> It may have been my wif...


Capcom>> Thanks for your support.
Dave>> *GASP*
Dave>> No... Problem...
Capcom>> Can I interest you in some downloadable content?
Dave>> ...
Dave>> I'm good.

Damn this game is hard.

It's like some bad relationship where he just keeps hitting me and I just keeping coming back.

It's okay though. I think I can change him though.

He doesn't really mean to do it.

Everything's going to be okay.

I hope...

F&$@ You, Mega Man.


At 7:35 PM, Blogger David said...

Happy Birthday.

Mega Man games have always been hard. I went back and tried to play MM2, and I got destroyed. I don't remember how I ended up beating those things.

But still, they were fun.

At 8:05 PM, Blogger Valeyl said...

Lol the kicking in the junk has a familiar ring to it. Much like the ToAU post. Which is neither here nor there, just a thought. I <3 Megaman 4 for the NES. I loved that shit.

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Hydria said...

Isn't it amazing how games we could easily beat when we were kids end up owning the hell out of us once we hit adulthood?

Do we lose our gamer skill card upon completion of our 21st level?

MMX2 was were it's at anyways.

At 11:42 PM, Blogger TallWhiteNinja said...

I never did beat the Yellow Devil in the first Mega Man...he needs to burn in the fires of hell.

At 2:28 AM, Blogger Paul said...

Didn't know it was your birthday. Happy birthday, Dave! Got any cake left? :)

At 3:38 AM, Blogger L.C.W. said...

Don't feel bad, I got owned the other day trying to play Super Mario Bros. Needless to say it was a sad and humiliating experience. I did so poorly I could have sold tickets just so people could watch me fail at jumping over the first hole in the first level. Seriously, I was bad.

Anyway, congrats on surviving another year.

At 5:11 AM, Blogger Kahsha said...


This is why I don't like Mega Man games.

I'm glad you have the Mario rpg to fall back on when you need some non-frustrating entertainment.


I think I just injured something trying to pat myself on the back.

At 7:37 AM, Blogger Tansunn said...

I agree, this game is hard as tits. I'd suggest getting as many screws as you can and buying a shit-ton of E. Tanks. Also, Galaxy Man and Splash Woman were the easiest for me to beat, so I'd suggest going after them first.

At 8:47 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

I haven't touched the Mega Man series since I was six. I have a history of breaking games and even systems in fits of rage, and I'm not going to give it the chance to happen to my precious Wii. I'd probably turn into the goddamn Hulk if I ever got another Mega Man game. That shit is hard.

At 9:28 AM, Blogger Chris said...

An interesting phenomenon about the Mega Man series and its difficulty is simply this: In Mega man, the levels have always been fucking hard, and the bosses relatively easy most of the time, even with the arm cannon only.

then came Mega Man X...where the stages were pretty much piss easy all the way through but the bosses would annihilate you in five seconds.

I still kick the shit out of the old megaman games on my NES, but the X series likes to use me for a dumpster. Of a very scary and horrible kind.

At 12:42 AM, Blogger Tarage said...

At least you are admitting Pandy was broken now.

At 3:20 PM, Blogger Kyle said...

Anyone else see the person above me getting perma-banned? hahaha

At 6:03 PM, Blogger RurouniZanza said...

This gives a whole new meaning to "Boot to the head"

The problem isn't that we're getting old and loosing our skill. The problem isn't that they made MM10 too hard.

The real problem is that they have made games way too easy as of late.

Games started simple and hard, then they got flashy and easy. I think it really started around the PS1 era.

But yeah, happy birthday man and go take out your anger on some unsuspecting fools in FFXI.


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