Friday, September 26, 2008

Huh... I Guess I Was Wrong

Let it never be said that [GM]Dave is not humble.

I'm not, but I really hate it when people say that.

Several times in the blog, I've said that there are no girls on the internet. This was, of course, a joke. I am entirely aware that there are indeed women on the internet.

And no, I'm not talking about those women in platform shoes in your dirty, dirty little videos.

You pervert.

I'm talking about all of those girl gamers out there, campaigning, and raiding, and... pwning...

They do a lot of stuff. The internet has a lot of different tubes.

So why do I insist that there are no female gamers?

Because it's funny.

Despite my knowing that there do exist female gamers, I had never really thought about how prevalent these women may be among our community.

Imagine my surprise when someone points out that 40% of gamers are female.

40%.

Damn.

Seriously, 40%?

This brings up an interesting question:

Why is it everytime you hear about someone cybering with a female character, it always turns out to be a 50 year old fat guy?

You will never unsee this picture.

Something is very wrong with this entire thing.

No, I don't mean with that picture.

Well... Yeah, there's something entirely wrong with that picture. There's a whole freaking ton of things wrong with that picture.

I was actually referring to the whole female gamer thing.

Where the hell are they?

So, master detective that I am, I worked diligently trying to find where all of these female gamers have gone.

After my extensive research, I have come to one inescapable conclusion:

They're all playing WoW.

It all makes sense. The bright, neon color armor. The disgustingly cute avatars.

The whole game is marketed towards female players.

It is obviously a chick game.

Now, you're probably thinking I have no proof of this.

I don't blame you. I do tend to make completely insane statements with no logical or rational basis.

It's one of the things that makes me so lovable.

But this time... This time I have proof.

Not pictured: Dignity.

See?

If that isn't incontrovertible proof, I don't know what is.

Total chick game.

You'd never see this for FFXI. If there was an instant substitute for FFXI, it'd be a bottle of Jack Daniel's and some broken glass to chew on.

That shit is manly.

If they run out of WoW, you get to take care of kittens and puppy dogs.

Then you just paint your nails and it's like you're running through Azeroth.

I rest my case.

...

Yes, I wrote this whole thing just to stick it to WoW.

Suck on that a-one time.

41 Comments:

At 8:21 PM, Blogger Fiye said...

Nah, you're not wrong. They call themselves men so they don't get ridiculed for being a female gamer.

Its true!

 
At 8:24 PM, Blogger Fiye said...

Also, I agree with ya on the WoW = Girlies comment.

Look at the Inevitable City in Warhammer and then look at any WoW city.

That city just reeks of evil.

 
At 8:33 PM, Blogger Nymph said...

lol..
being a chick, i know a lot of chicks who play. That being said i dont get along too well with most chicks who play.. o.0, sure there are the select few, but for the most i wish most of them would quit and play WoW.

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger Arte said...

Ahaha. I agree with Fiye. Im a female and have a girl taru, but I have plenty of female gamer friends who will only play guy characters because they get harassed. & honestly, WoW disgusts me. XD So Idk where you're getting that idea that all girls like WoW lol :P

 
At 11:28 PM, Blogger L.C.W. said...

I lol'd.

 
At 12:28 AM, Blogger RandomSpot said...

I've thought about this before and i think the reason the female gamers are forgotten is because generally were not very perverted. I would never go cyber with someone i dident know...i wouldent even do it with someone i did know, i play games for the game and like someone mentioned i play as a male a lot as well (though thats mainly for the extra strength males usually get and because they look sick)

 
At 3:11 AM, Blogger Vagu'Stae said...

"They're all playing WoW." = Pwnt. Lulz were had.

Jumping into the bandwagon: female here as well, but a guy char on FFXI.

 
At 3:17 AM, Blogger Adam said...

Proof that GM Dave reads the failblog.

 
At 5:00 AM, Blogger JAFO said...

Acually, City of Heroes/Villains has quite a few girl gamers. The nice thing (read: Only) is that the character customization in CoH/V is awesome. In regard to girl gamers, it seems to be a status thing for them to make the sluttiest looking character imaginable. Now, in a group setting with a fire throwing villain chick in a thong and a D cup...that's a nice sight. Sure, the game is basically playing the same few fights over and over and over again while trying to convince yourself its something new, but the eye candy is nice.
Have also found that the chicks who play that game are nicely perverted, most times with little to no prompting from other players.
And before I start getting stabbed/flamed...I quit CoH/V for the fact that it sucked as far as challenge, structure, variation and overall plot.
That and n00bs run rampant. There are easier ways to torture them tho in CoH/V. Mob Teleporting to the n00b areas is always a blast. And the mob stays where you put them. And so do the rest of the mobs you bring there. Its like a nice little n00b landmine that goes off whenever they turn that corner.

 
At 5:07 AM, Blogger RurouniZanza said...

Aye, I agree with Arte. I have a tons of female friends (yes, I know them in RL) And all they do in FFXI is get harrassed and get sent sexually explicit /tells and whatnot. I'm sure you being a GM, you get a lot of this calls.

But because of this and because they think elvaans are the hottest thing since Brad Pitt, most of female gamers choose to play as a male character.

Mostly Tarus and Elvaans and sometimes Galkas fun shits and giggles.

But I also have to admit that the mayority of female gamers I know prefer to play WoW over FFXI.

 
At 5:10 AM, Blogger Kahsha said...

Woman gamer... girl... lol

Female character

Perverted but I have my own "set" that I use to deal with harassment.

If a male character is as smooth as Ken, then I don't want to play as him.

 
At 8:22 AM, Blogger Bufuman said...

*sticks it to WoW*

*...with a stabbity knife*
Now THAT is manly.

 
At 10:25 AM, Blogger Auzara said...

I'm also fond of saying there are no girls on the intarwebz.

Absolutely none.

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger Rob said...

I'm Rob's wife. I'm stealing his account for a minute to post because I don't have my own. Something that will be remedied shortly.
I'm a girl gamer. I like being a girl gamer. I like that funny look guys get on their faces when I know game trivia that they apparently think only men are privy to. I do not play WoW. I have never had a WoW account. I out-level my husband in FFXI. I can kick his ass in Killer Instinct with a 107 hit combo on Orchid. I play a female char and wow, the pervs that lurk throughout the server grows daily. I'm guessing they multiply by masterbation.
I'm not a girly-girl when it comes to my games. I'd rather have RAM than diamonds for christmas. I AM a girly-girl when it comes to [GM]Dave. Your blog has kept me happy for years.

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger Jay said...

lol thats creepy!
guess i need to break up with my internet gf now! lol

Sonoma Productions
http://www.youtube.com/greekcandyman

 
At 11:36 AM, Blogger Salt said...

I think most females (I suppose you can say most people as well) prefer WoW because, well, it's easier.
WoW is fairly forgiving when it comes to player mistakes.

FFXI is more "traditional" hardcore then WoW.

 
At 12:20 PM, Blogger Shinkada said...

There are no female gamers, because WoW, CS and FF aren't games. One's a job you pay for, one's an interactive underage chatroom for pedophiles, and one's a bad pseudo-interactive anime with a bad plot and cliche'd characters, and those are the only three 'games' that 'females' play.

In short, if a girl ever beats me in Guilty Gear, I'll consider it possible for females to be gamers.

 
At 4:07 PM, Blogger Wavrik said...

This is a failure. A scary failure.

 
At 5:40 PM, Blogger Autumn said...

Actually, I can't stand WoW precisely because of the girly aesthetic issues. LOTRO and City of Heroes are much more visually appealing to me. I started playing WoW, briefly, because one of my friends was playing and I wanted to spend more time gaming with her, but there aren't nearly enough options to customize my character's appearance, the graphics were dated ten years ago and I feel dirty every time I log in. I'm pretty much just going to let my subscription lapse, clear off the hard drive space and write off the loss. Especially since the same friend is now playing my other games with me. *sigh*

 
At 12:54 AM, Blogger Sorvina said...

Can one be classified as a gamer if she only plays ONE game?

I ONLY play FFXI.

I don't play console games, coz, honestly, I'd be living on Dramamine if I did. LOL

I don't, nor will I EVER play WoW. I actually like a challenge, and all Ive ever heard about WoW is how blasted easy it is. No thanks, I'll pass.

Anyways, I play FFXI. I play a Hume FEMALE.

I can hold my own against to pervs, so I feel no need to hide the fact that I'm a woman.

Guess it helps that I'm a bit of a perv myself. :P

 
At 6:26 AM, Blogger Fireball said...

I knew it. I am the only female one playing FFXI.....

 
At 8:08 AM, Blogger Music-chan said...

OSNAP

I'd argue, but I'm a girl who plays WoW so....

I do love me some video games though. Not just WoW. ;)

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Chrysalis said...

Ok... so yeah. I'm a female gamer and well... I don't go around cybering with just anyone cause who wants to cyber with the jackasses who walk up and go "Hey! Wanna cyber?" Sorry... you have to have some kind of sauve... the 50 year old guys.. they gotta get their jollies somewhere. Plus, most of the hot gamer chicks like myself and my friends, get snagged up pretty fast by the guys who go "Wow! You rock!". Plus I know plenty of women who could kick shinkada's ass at Guilty Gear amongst many other games. We're out here and proud to be gamers. We listen to MC Chris. We enjoy knowing that you're shocked when you discover we're a REAL girl but at the same time, we're really sick of being asked if we are one, and we're sick of being told "OMG YOURE HOT!" with sheer surprise because if you're a girl gamer you must be hideously ugly. Whatever. Also... I won't touch WOW with a ten foot pole, unless it's to blow up a copy. I hate the cartoony artwork and I don't play any of my games on easy mode. Sorry to disappoint boys. Oh, another thing we do... we play tabletop games, we help run conventions... admittedly, we also like to pass out soap at them. And we show off our new 32H bras on webcam cause we're happy they fit! >.> (Maybe thats just my own excitement about my breasts no longer being in pain...) GM Dave, thanks for all the laughs! You make my work day go by so much faster. ^^

 
At 1:21 PM, Blogger VictoriaSecret said...

Um.... I'm a woman and i play FFXI >.> lol....

Actually because of my character named i get harrased a lot and wish i picked a male character or chose a difrent name... you have no idea how many times ive herd "So, what's your secret?" Then they go on and accuse me of actually being a guy.... that's terrible...

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger Kelsey said...

being a girl myself, I like gaming. but seriously, fuck WoW... it's like crack for people. I had a friend in high school who dropped out because he wanted to play it all the time. WoW is an abomination to gaming, in my personal opinion

 
At 3:45 PM, Blogger semele said...

Well, as a girl gamer, yeah, I played WoW for a few years. These days I'm just playing Spore.

I like to be left alone, so I prefer my gaming offline. But why, Sem? Why?

Ahem: Girls - take a note, fellows - do NOT (no, NOT) like to be hit on in game. They're chilling out after work, pretending that mob is their boss or annoying coworker, just like you are! Getting cyber-laid is not their prime function. If it were, there are plenty of places to go do just that - like loser MySpace. So yeah, we game, we play, we suck and we rule, just like the other 60% of players with dangly genitalia. But we don't generally cyber in game - just like the male players don't.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger GTRacer said...

Following on to Sem's comment, not all guys who play female chars want to be hit on either! Not in it to trick people, flirt, bi-cyber or whatever the hell guys playing girls get accused of.

Thankfully I've managed to associate with a large enough group of regular friends that "stranger aggro" isn't at all common.

Aerin of Siren

 
At 8:22 PM, Blogger Paul said...

As a male, I mostly play male characters, but I do roll some female characters too. And in my experience, the easiest way to stop some cyber-perv from hitting on you is just to reply "I'm a guy".

One time in Guild Wars stands out in my head though, I was on a female mesmer, and some guy started hitting on me. I told him I was actually a guy, and he said something along the lines of "good, I'm gay." I asked why he was hitting on female characters and he said too many male characters end up being females, so he started going for female characters and had a better success rate. I stopped rolling female characters for a while after that.

 
At 10:42 PM, Blogger quinn said...

i think i have met a total of 5 people who have admited they are girls in RL. 2x that led to people asking for pics to prove it. and the other times it was just duoing to level.

but i wonder what qualifies as a gamer? only girls i know in RL that play games only play Wii fit or "play halo" and are only able to use one control stick and ask wtf happened when they die.

 
At 6:15 AM, Blogger MinorAgentofChaos said...

To quote music-chan,

Oh SNAP. Yup, female WoW-player here.

But I keep real quiet about my gender on WoW, because (even there) it invites a lot of ass-hattery the moment folks find out I'm female (NO, I DON'T want to cyber, get your naked toon out of my face, and I know more about this game than your 15-year-old fat pimply 5th-level male ass, OK?).

Though from reading Dave's blog for a while, I want to try FF just to meet Jormy.

 
At 6:17 AM, Blogger Kymberly said...

So essentially, you're saying those 40% of gamers play WoW because they're girls and can't handle anything harder?

You know, you've more then likely been pwned by a girl in a game more then once, and just didn't know it.

It's ok, we know it.

 
At 7:13 AM, Blogger RamblingDreamer said...

Kelsey: I play WoW (and have played FFXI too, by the by), and am easily able to step away and do things like work, and spend time with family, and other things that don't revolve around it. The fact that your friend dropped out to play says a lot more about him than it does about the game, really.

I'm just sayin'. ;)

 
At 7:45 AM, Blogger MinorAgentofChaos said...

Just another note...

It's interesting Dave brought this up. Someone on the WoW_Ladies community of LiveJournal just put up an interesting post on this same topic:

http://community.livejournal.com/wow_ladies/6990642.html

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger jonnysgirl1703 said...

Well I have to admit even being a girl I am leary of people who claim to be girls ingame...

But I always knew women would fess up to loving gaming! Yay for not being in the minority anymore :D

 
At 11:19 AM, Blogger Daemien said...

ok... define "gamer". i knew plenty of girls that "played" video games... but they were not "gamers".

a gamer is someone who comes home from work/school/scandalous activity and immediately plays video games. someone who will use scenarios in video games as analogies and metaphors to explain things to people. someone who actually has quite the library... not just the PS3/Wii with a few cutey games and a few popular ones.

the "game player" is a person who has a game system but never plays it, the only games available (using PS2 as an example) are devil may cry, kingdom hearts, final fantasy X, and grand theft auto 3 (my point being, there are more games than those popular titles that you hear all the time) and can name a few games from the SNES that they might have enjoyed as a kid. video games are not first priority to this person. very important.

you're not a gamer til gaming is your first priority. everything else you do just so you can afford to keep playing them. that's a gamer.

you mean to tell me that 40% of women are gamers?

redo that study please...

(and then there's that rare breed of both men AND women that get addicted to gaming and can't stop and wind up poopin themselves and not eating... and other people who can't put games down for work/school/scandalous activity... those people are beyond gamer... those people are mental...)

 
At 4:59 AM, Blogger Akamar said...

Girl Gamer. PS and PC preferences concerning platform. Have a WII, PS3, and a PAL PS2.

I used to play FFXI, back when I worked in Iraq... I gave it up when three of my five hours of free time a night were being used waiting for a party that usually never came.. Had a level 66 Pally, too...

I picked up WoW during an R&R... out of curiosity... and rather liked this game I could play that didn't require I have a party to do it... :/

It's where my friends are now, so I stick to it. And probably will for awhile.

 
At 3:23 PM, Blogger Noxsa said...

"you mean to tell me that 40% of women are gamers?"

Just wanted to point out that it said "40% of gamers are women" not "40% of women are gamers".

 
At 4:11 PM, Blogger anfmusicgrl said...

REAL girls play games, and i don't mean your typical gothic,emo, whatever girls.

i'm a 24 year old, college graduate now an accountant and i play FFXI on midgard server.

/wave GMDave from Ashleyflowers (ffxi name)

www.myspace.com/ashleyflowers

see i'm real :)

 
At 2:50 AM, Blogger Chirri said...

Why are all the cybering "chicks" turning out to be 50 year old guys?

For every single, female gamer, there are several single male gamers. There is no shortage of possibilities for girls and women to hook up. If a female gamer WANTS to hook up, she will. And unless she's just looking for laughs, odds are she's not going to be cybering with a stranger. (There are exceptions, no doubt) If she was smart about it, she won't have to resort to cybering - she can get the real thing.

At least, this has been my experience. Only certain fellow gamers know I'm actually female, and all of those people know I'm taken. After breaking up with my previous boyfriend, I kept it a secret - once I went public with my single status, I had a few guys to choose from within 24 hours. I picked one, and we've been driving each other nuts for the last 4 years now.

I play WoW and Warhammer. I've played EQ, EQ2, FFOnline, CoH, CoV, SW:G, LotR, Lineage 2, Vanguard. I don't stick with WoW because of graphics, or ease or difficulty of the game - I stick with it because that's most of the people I've known since EQ play (Classic EQ, not the newer, friendlier EQ), and I enjoy doing stuff with them cooperatively in a game. I'm a social gamer, and I'm aware of it.

Gamer chicks are everywhere, we all know it, but most of us know how to keep a low profile. Because guys are dicks.

 
At 5:00 AM, Blogger ~ Lico said...

Doing a quick count of all the (proven) female players I know, 75% of them are on WoW, and 35% plays FFXI. You might wonder why this adds up to be 110%. That's because a couple of these girls play both games, but not simultanious. 8% of them play a female character, but act like a guy and consider themselves bisexual. 3% plays a male character, and are good at pretending to be a guy.

Yep, seems to me WoW is indeed a chick flick.

And that's my 100% of 2 gil.

 
At 10:15 PM, Blogger Carlos said...

I admit I played wow, and I meet a bunch of womens (REAL womens, as in, RL), talked with a few in vent, but still it was morelike 1:50 in a women:men ratio, 40% seems BS

 

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