Friday, August 29, 2008

The Pandemonium Saga Continued

So, when last we left our hero, he was stuck in a dilemma.

On the one hand, a group of players had lost an item that was incredibly difficult to obtain and [GM]Dave actually felt a little sorry for them.

On the other hand, they were now making GM calls and that makes [GM]Dave angry. People who make GM calls get fed to a dragon.

What will our hero do?

Stay tuned tomorrow and...

Okay, okay. I'm writing.

Put the knife down.

What the hell are you going to do with a knife anyway? Stab your monitor?

You're lucky I still talk to you, you know.

Anyway, this is where the story became a little bit annoying for me. Once I learned the full story from the linkshell leaders, I was on their side.

They made a mistake, but the system is designed to keep that mistake from totally making you cry.

Yes, there was some crying.

Besides, I had been fairly impressed by how quickly they obtained their key. It takes a lot to impress me, so I was actually hoping they'd pull it off.

Sure, the goblin thing made me laugh, but I always laugh at the pain of others.

I'm like Bob Saget, but without the wacky side effects.

So, [GM]Dave was on their side. Actually, quite a few of the GMs were on their side.

This would be a simple fix, right?

The fact that you're reading this right now should tell you that was wrong.

The actual people in charge of the linkshell contacted the GMs properly and made a formal request for us to investigate.

That was the right thing to do. We love it when people actually ask us to investigate stuff worth investigating.

Plus, I get to wear my sunglasses and make mildly-retarded comments.

But rather than wait quietly, while we conducted our investigation and moved the issue through the proper channels (believe it or not, we don't just hand out incredibly rare key items to anyone who just asks for them), many of the players involved started making GM calls.

LOTS of GM calls.

Then they posted the whole thing on a variety of forums.

Then OTHER PEOPLE started sending us even more GM calls.

Within days, we were absolutely flooded with calls from people who were nowhere even near their computer when this shit went down.

It was bad enough when people from the linkshell were sending us stupid GM calls. Then some guy from another server who was out of town that week had to start bitching about it.

What the hell was that about?

I mean people started sending us some nasty shit.

Those people were dealt with.

Any player that sent a message that started with "You have to..." ended up getting fed to Jormy and then banned.

He died of food poisoning three times.

Why would you start a message with "You have to..."?

I play video games for a living and I'm usually drunk before 10 am.

I don't have to do anything.

And why would you get belligerent?

It was weird enough that people who had nothing to do with the whole situation were sending GM calls about it. Then they started getting angry and insulting.

Why would you even do that?

From now on, if you want to get banned, just ask. Seriously, just send a GM call and say "Please ban me".

I'm not a plot kind of guy. When I watch porn, I just skip to the good parts.

I don't need a long or complex reason to ban you.

Just ask.

Once we actually had an opportunity to review the situation and discuss the matter with the linkshell leaders (and ban a bajillion people), we decided the best way to handle the situation was to return their key item and wish them good luck.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Next time: they did not all live happily ever after.



At 9:11 PM, Blogger Tyler said...

That's funny. Why would people who weren't even in the linkshell (or hell, even the same server) send GM calls?

Hey, GM Dave, is it viable to send a GM call for a person being beyond retarded? I mean, I partied with a Red Mage last night who started off subbing Ninja for damage-dealing capabilities, then suggesting she sub Warrior so she could tank for our Lv.67 party against Imps, and then finally subbing Summoner for "infinite MP", as she caled it. On top of which, she was engaged battle against the Imps (who have an AoE Silence, I might add), was casting Haste and Regen on everyone (including the BLM and RNG and everyone else who didn't need it like myself, another RDM). Resting in her Wind Staff and curing in her Earth Staff, and spending the majority of her MP on Aerial Armor and Frost Armor. She was an Elvaan RDM/SMN and had maybe 300 MP to my 650 as RDM/WHM Mithra. Her Scorpion Harness and STR+ rings didn't help much with that...

At 9:34 PM, Blogger Kenny said...

Dude, you dont' call a GM, you kick the fucking retard.

At 12:12 AM, Blogger Tyler said...

You fail to understand just how retarded this person was. She was so horrible, I was actually going to suggest she play WoW as a better testament to her skills at MMORPGs. Also, she was the party leader. You can't kick party leaders. And since half the party was also Japanese so I couldn't exactly say "Let's disband and regroup to leave this retard behind."

At 2:28 AM, Blogger Kenny said...

I'm failing to understand why you would stay in the party. Seriously, you're a Rdm, it's not like you're last in line at the unemployment office. I stick with bad parties as a DD because I don't know when my next one will be. I dump bad parties at the first sign of trouble as a Bard. You should have done the same thing.

At 4:11 AM, Blogger Cypher said...

2 rdm in a party is full of fail anyway. I blame you for not disbanding.

At 6:43 AM, Blogger Vagu'Stae said...

Your stories rule, Dave.

@Tyler: Oh how I'd love to kick that RDM in the shins... Oh! Did you know that the "Disband" and "Remove Member" buttons exist for a reason? :O

At 1:29 PM, Blogger Leut said...

Yeah....uh...Tyler. I'd kinda not advertise about other being retarded when you really shoulda known better...

We all have retard moments. Some of us are lucky enough to realize we have had one and keep our talk holes shut to reduce the overall damage.

Then some of us (ie, you) have to talk about it. Chuh.....ya know what? Uh uh. Disband next time, kay?

At 12:48 AM, Blogger RSS adder said...

Hah, I am wondering how this story could get worse, I assume they screw up again somehow, but how could they be that retarded? Oh...wait, nevermind :)

At 4:29 AM, Blogger Oni said...


At 2:47 PM, Blogger Tyler said...

Actually, Red Mages are an abundance on my server. It's hard to find a party because there's never any tanks. I also would have disbanded, but aside from that Red Mage (who was the leader, btw, and we couldn't kick her), the party was awesome. When she fell asleep and we regrouped around her, it was even more awesome.

At 11:49 PM, Blogger _Q_ said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 11:50 PM, Blogger _Q_ said...

I know this is not a good place to leave this kind of message but I can't find any other way;;

My friend's account just got hacked.
He lives in korea and use JP version of FFXI.
The problem is that he did put SE JP address for account since he doesn't live in JP.
What is best way he can do?
I gave him SE customer service number, but he might have problem communicating.
Could you please give him some advice? His email is, or you can use my email

We’d really appreciate your help.

At 4:39 AM, Blogger semele said...

Q, are you trying to get your friend signed up for the nastiest porn and religious materials available on the internet? Don't put something like that here. Sheesh!


Post a Comment

<< Home