Bannable Offenses

I don't know how this happened.

Sigh.

I really don't know how this happened.

A friend dared me to fill out an online GM application. We were kidding around and figured we'd have a good laugh.

I randomly answered every question with either:

a) We don't do that.
b) BAN.
c) Is there anything else I can help you with today?

Then I hit submit and didn't think about it again. At least, not until the e-mail arrived telling me I'd been accepted.

I considered turning down the offer, but then I thought about all the GM equipment. I spent 3 days running around San d'Oria trying to get a freakin' Christmas hat, so I'm not about to turn down free level 1 gear.

Plus, I read the whole Final Fantasy XI Brady guide, so I'm more than qualified.

Today, I logged in as a GM for the first time. I was amazed. I was excited.

You have 87 GM calls pending across 3 servers.

I was pissed.

You know how GM armor has that cool shimmer effect? That's not an effect. It's bottled up rage.

Someone is soooooo getting banned.

Rather than actually read the GM calls, I just banned the first three people accused of infractions on the list. Then I banned the first three people who placed the GM calls. To save myself some time, I just teleported the rest straight to Mordion Gaol.

[GM]Dave>> Ok, guys. I've set you all to PvP. Last person standing gets to hp. Everyone else gets banned.

[GM]Dave>> Have a nice day.

I mean, I've got stuff to do. I have to go hit a level 0 bunny with my new sword.

Seriously. If you are going to place a GM call, save yourself some time and follow these simple steps:

1) delete your character
2) delete your content ID
3) uninstall the game
4) set your computer on fire

Man, I hate it when people whine.

Oh... Is there anything else I can help you with today?

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 3:08 PM