Bannable Offenses

Why do players bother me?

Why can't people solve their own problems? Is it my job to take care of every little issue that crops up in your game?

I don't think so.

This evening, after 249 absolutely inane GM calls, I was ready to scream. Honestly, each and every one was a waste of my time.

Here's a run down of the major topics:

a) someone just stole my monster. Ban him.
b) that guy won't talk to me while fishing. Ban him.
c) that guy is speaking another language. Ban him.

I mean, damn. Can't you guys work this out with childish name calling like adults?

And use your Blacklist, dammit. We put that in, so that we wouldn't have to do any work.

It performs two helpful functions:

1) it blocks other people from talking to you
2) it blocks you from talking to me

But noooooooo. People have to keep making stupid GM calls, so that I can hold their hand and tell them everything will be all right.

So, I'm at call 249 and ready to shoot myself. Then number 250 comes in.

GM Call Description: Fell in water. Help please.

Do I look like David Hasselhoff to you?

Here's how it went:

[GM]Dave>> Yadda yadda... so you fell in the water.
Player>> Yeah. I was walking...
[GM]Dave>> Wow. Great story. Made me cry.
[GM]Dave>> What do you want?
Player>> Uhh... can you help me?
[GM]Dave>> Sure. Swim.
Player>> How do I get out?
[GM]Dave>> Swim to shore.
Player>> There is no shore.
Player>> I'm under the airship.
[GM]Dave>> Why are you under the airship?
Player>> I fell.
[GM]Dave>> Sounds like you're hacking.
[GM]Dave>> I'm going to have to ban you.
Player>> WHAT?!
[GM]Dave>> We take you airshippy hackers serious.
Player>> I'm not hacking. It's a glitch.
[GM]Dave>> Sure it is. *coughhackercough*
[GM]Dave>> Banned
[GM]Dave>> Is there anything else I can help you with today?

And that jerk had the nerve to get upset. Some people, I tell ya.

If you want to be a good player, solve your own damned problems. We like vigilantes. And then we ban them.

Firm, but fair.

posted by Goblin Smithy @ 7:53 PM