Thursday, February 08, 2007

The Vanishing Act


This conversation is going to be all to familiar for some of you guys.

I know internet connections go down sometimes.

It happens to everybody. There's no reason to be ashamed.

It doesn't mean you're not into playing at that time. We get that. We don't blame you.

But maybe, just maybe, you should just quit trying because you're just frustrating everyone.

You can play some other time. Maybe your connection will be up for it then.

If you are constantly DCing, it's time to /shutdown and take the night off.

Oh, I know you really want to level or you just have to get that quest/mission done.

Too damned bad.

Your desire to level does not particularly concern me. Sure, I like helping people reach the next level and I'll hand around until someone can get that last 2k.

But that doesn't mean I have to deal with you DCing every second fight.

DCing once is unfortunate. DCing twice is problematic.

Dcing three or more times is a freaking clue that maybe you should go watch TV.

The other night I was in a party in Yuhtunga Jungle.

Yeah, yeah. Ha ha.

Quick! Be the first one to post on the irony of me getting killed by a Smithy.

Whoops. Too late.


We set up our party right outside the zoneline and go to work. Everything is going amazing.

And then the Bard DCs.

Leader>> Crap.
Leader>> Bard DC.
[GM]Dave>> We're okay.
[GM]Dave>> He'll be right back.

At this point, I am understanding.

But, right after the fight ends, the Bard reappears.

Bard>> Sorry.

That's fine. It happens.

We move on.

Two fights later...

Leader>> Crap.
Leader>> Bard DC.
[GM]Dave>> Again?
[GM]Dave>> What the hell?

But because we were thoughtful, understanding people (read: because there were no other BRDs lfg at the time), we decided to wait a few minutes for him to come back.

Unfortunately, he did.

Bard>> Sorry.

So, the leader reinvites him. I, of course, do not want to create any sort of hostility, so I choose not to say anything.

Yeah... That sounds just like me, doesn't it?

[GM]Dave>> What the hell, man?
Bard>> What?
[GM]Dave>> Did you get your modem at the bottom of a cereal box or something?
Bard>> I'm really sorry.
Bard>> It won't happen again.

This part I don't understand. Why do people say stuff like this?

It's not like your connection is going to hold up just because you want it to. We're not all going to cross our fingers and clap our hands just so you don't R0 anymore.

As if I needed some sort of proof, the Bard DCes in the middle of the next pull.

At this point, I'm wondering how much it would cost to fly to the idiot's house and actually punch him in the face.

I'm not kidding. I checked his IP address and then used Susan's computer to look it up.

You'd be surprised at how affordable air travel can be.

But before I can start packing my bags, he comes back.

Bard>> Sorry.
Bard>> Invite please.

Now, some of you are probably thinking that I'm being hard on the guy. I mean, he's only DCing, right?

But you have to think about the fact that he's making five other people suffer every freaking time he does it.

DCing once is fine. But making a party wait for you while you DC over and over again is just selfish and ridiculous. You're not the most important person on the planet, you know.

That would be me.

I quickly switch characters and invite the Bard.

Bard>> Thanks. Really sorry. It won't happen...
Bard>> Where is everyone else?
Bard>> And why are you all shimmery?
[GM]Dave>> Good news.
[GM]Dave>> I've found a wait to solve your DCing problem.
Bard>> Really? That's...

And he DCes.

No, I'm not kidding.

Surely, by this point, he must have come to his senses and opted to stay logged out for the night. No one could be dumb enough to log back in after four consecutive DCes.

Bard>> Sorry.
Bard>> Invite please.

People never cease to amaze me.

[GM]Dave>> As I was saying...
[GM]Dave>> I've figured out a solution to your DCing problem.
Bard>> That's great.
Bard>> What do I do?
[GM]Dave>> Well, step one is I have to transport you to a holding area.
[GM]Dave>> Is that okay?
Bard>> Sure.

Like shooting fish in a barrel.

Slow fish.

Retarded fish.


Bard>> Hey, I've never been here before.
Bard>> What's step two?
[GM]Dave>> Step two is you getting eaten by a dragon.
Bard>> I don't understand.
[GM]Dave>> I'll try to explain it in simpler terms.

Jormungand hits Bard for 15,853 points of damage.
Bard was defeated by Jormungand.

[GM]Dave>> How's that?
[GM]Dave>> I could explain it a little slower.

See, it's kind of hard to DC if you can't log in in the first place.

Problem solved.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I still have to try and level past that freaking jungle.

Yeah, yeah. Goblin Smithy. Ha ha.

Shut up.